Black Relationships : Unwed Mothers in the USA - The New Normal

You know who else didn't marry or their marriages weren't recognized by the State? Slaves.


Hmmmmmmmmm. Are you saying that unwed mothers/families are akin to slaves?




..
 
There's no problem with discussing the matter.
I try my best to dish out abuse even handedly. *laugh*

...but far too many on this site only bring up such issues to promote their own one-sided agenda and sh--t on black women, I've noticed.
"Oh - lets bash, b--ch and whine about black women ALONE and how they screw up everything..."
...but when it comes to single fathers, absentee fathers, gangs, prison, etc...? When it comes to what black men do wrong....?
>>cue the violin<<
Nothing but posturing, blame shifting, scapegoating and excuse after excuse after excuse!

So, I find it hi-larious when the (blatantly baised) males in this thread - the kings of blame shifting - go on about people being afraid to face the truth and blaming 'everyone else' for their faults.
...because irony is funny to me.
*laugh*

On the contrary, no one's afraid to face anything... but I tell you what: If more black men on here could stop dictating to the women how we should arrange our garden... and worry about the trash in their own backywards -- that they have to practically chart a boat and wade through to even get to the fence separating us to run their mouths?
I, for one, wouldn't have a thing to say when black men do speak of 'black females' and their collective faults...because then?
You'd actually have a platform from which to speak.

...but I do.
...because you don't. I have a problem with it. A major one. I'm not the least bit receptive to what most black men have to say about black women. Just being honest.
Particularly the middle-aged black men, because they're always running young black women down and blaming us for their romantic failures, what some crazy black woman did to them (if black men don't like to be on the recving end of the broad brush, I don't know why some like to project thir craziness at all black women) and whatever black women did to them in the '70's (and some crap about feminism)...like anyone of us knows what they're talking about.
Hell - my cohort of young black females weren't even alive in the 70's...

My defenses are usually up, yes... b/c it's always an attack. Sometimes covert. Sometimes blatant.
They're not trying to help...or instruct...or guide black women.
It's a 'one-up' session. We are nothing short of an adversary to them.
Eh. I think nothing of it. This is how it is. Don't know how to change it and I kinda feel like it's a waste of energy to even try.
If there were a time when things were different? It's not known to me.

I stick to females. I'm a female. I talk to females. That's what I know. I feel like, if you can't hold those in your own ranks accountable? You shouldn't be running around trying to pooh on anyone else...but that's just me.

Either way, it's no great shock that the females on here hardly reply to these sort of discussions or to certain posters.
Apparently, they know a one-sided agenda when they see it, too. *smirk*

'Cold-blooded'?
It's fine to tell it like it is...on occasion. But... when you're actually trying to fix a problem? It works best to not rip into people. *smirk*
I say what I say, regardless. Sometimes.

Now --
Is this the right way to handle a discussion? No. *laugh*
...'specially when you create a thread and call yourself trying to spread awareness or correct poor behavior.
I know that. I know how to communicate 'therapuetically'. I just don't always do it....*laugh*
Sometimes, I issue knee-jerks.
I know as well as any that you have to tailor your words to suit your audience. The listener. You don't talk down to people when you're actually trying to foster understanding.
Of course, you can....*laugh*
Just don't act all 'shocked and appalled' when no one is receptive to whatever you're saying. People on the defensive just tune you out.
 
There's no problem with discussing the matter.
I try my best to dish out abuse even handedly. *laugh*

...but far too many on this site only bring up such issues to promote their own one-sided agenda and sh--t on black women, I've noticed.
"Oh - lets bash, b--ch and whine about black women ALONE and how they screw up everything..."
...but when it comes to single fathers, absentee fathers, gangs, prison, etc...? When it comes to what black men do wrong....?
>>cue the violin<<
Nothing but posturing, blame shifting, scapegoating and excuse after excuse after excuse!

So, I find it hi-larious when the (blatantly baised) males in this thread - the kings of blame shifting - go on about people being afraid to face the truth and blaming 'everyone else' for their faults.
...because irony is funny to me.
*laugh*

On the contrary, no one's afraid to face anything... but I tell you what: If more black men on here could stop dictating to the women how we should arrange our garden... and worry about the trash in their own backywards -- that they have to practically chart a boat and wade through to even get to the fence separating us to run their mouths?
I, for one, wouldn't have a thing to say when black men do speak of 'black females' and their collective faults...because then?
You'd actually have a platform from which to speak.

...but I do.
...because you don't. I have a problem with it. A major one. I'm not the least bit receptive to what most black men have to say about black women. Just being honest.
Particularly the middle-aged black men, because they're always running young black women down and blaming us for their romantic failures, what some crazy black woman did to them (if black men don't like to be on the recving end of the broad brush, I don't know why some like to project thir craziness at all black women) and whatever black women did to them in the '70's (and some crap about feminism)...like anyone of us knows what they're talking about.
Hell - my cohort of young black females weren't even alive in the 70's...

My defenses are usually up, yes... b/c it's always an attack. Sometimes covert. Sometimes blatant.
They're not trying to help...or instruct...or guide black women.
It's a 'one-up' session. We are nothing short of an adversary to them.
Eh. I think nothing of it. This is how it is. Don't know how to change it and I kinda feel like it's a waste of energy to even try.
If there were a time when things were different? It's not known to me.

I stick to females. I'm a female. I talk to females. That's what I know. I feel like, if you can't hold those in your own ranks accountable? You shouldn't be running around trying to pooh on anyone else...but that's just me.

Either way, it's no great shock that the females on here hardly reply to these sort of discussions or to certain posters.
Apparently, they know a one-sided agenda when they see it, too. *smirk*

'Cold-blooded'?
It's fine to tell it like it is...on occasion. But... when you're actually trying to fix a problem? It works best to not rip into people. *smirk*
I say what I say, regardless. Sometimes.

Now --
Is this the right way to handle a discussion? No. *laugh*
...'specially when you create a thread and call yourself trying to spread awareness or correct poor behavior.
I know that. I know how to communicate 'therapuetically'. I just don't always do it....*laugh*
Sometimes, I issue knee-jerks.
I know as well as any that you have to tailor your words to suit your audience. The listener. You don't talk down to people when you're actually trying to foster understanding.
Of course, you can....*laugh*
Just don't act all 'shocked and appalled' when no one is receptive to whatever you're saying. People on the defensive just tune you out.



1. This article deals with data on all women

2. It is dealing with the current census trends/facts

3. So maybe you're being a bit biased and overly sensitive?

For example, there have been studies showing that brothers arent absent fathers. Moreover, that it may be a simple matter of women deciding they dont want a male around or just cant seem to find Mr. Right. Now this begs the question, why mate with a guy you dont consider worthy? Or worse, that doesnt consider you worthy?

But for the record, I am not shocked or appalled when no one answers. Just as I wasnt when none of you really answered Destees thread dealing with the topic of allowing the abuse. Btw, stating facts arent finger pointing.




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