Black Poetry : Untitled

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by seraphim_tears, Jul 17, 2008.

  1. seraphim_tears

    seraphim_tears New Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2008
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    school nurse
    Location:
    akron ohio
    Ratings:
    +0
    I gave a gift that didn’t cost much, but could be the most valuable thing you’ll ever own
    Something worth living for, dying for, fighting for; something that belongs to you alone
    I’m sure you know that you have it; I’ve told you in the clearest of ways
    I know that you open it, use it, enjoy it, and will do so on any needed day
    It’s something you’ve wanted someone to give you with no pricetag or strings attached
    I’ve given you what the whole world seeks; and I’m realizing I’ll never get it back

    The gift makes me ache inside, a sharp blow of breath-taking pain
    Giving it makes me certain I won’t let it go again; it has made me completely change
    I’m not sorry that you have it; only sorry that it isn’t enough
    It’s everything and nothing at all; it’s growing and dying without a touch
    It wakes me up at all times of night to tend to its receiver
    It keeps me up for hours on end turning me into a believer
    It’s something we always hear about, but don’t think we will ever find
    It makes me stronger, weaker, a warrior, a peacekeeper, all at the same time.

    I gave a gift so beautiful and ugly, the wrapping is not quite right
    The bow is crooked, the card is sloppy, but I’ve worked on it all my life
    It’s wild and free and trained and restrained and only answers to you
    It won’t be harnessed or corralled or turned off; I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do
    It’s completely out of my control; I covet it, even in my fear
    I’ve tried to call it back home; but like all inanimate things, it doesn’t hear

    Even as I gave it my heart started breaking anticipating the pain coming next
    These gifts never work out for people like me but I still spark hope no less
    And now the blow has landed clearly, as I watch you lament
    It isn’t enough what’s inside; the outside is broken and bent
    And if my present was in another box it would be perfect and you’d love it
    If it was given by someone else you would think much more of it
    So you keep it and use it whenever you need comfort, joy, or strength
    You offer me a smaller gift and keep it at arms length
    And I gave you knowingly so what can I say? What can I do?
    I should have known it would be unreturned when I gave my love to you.
    --aisiahlwilliams71608
    iloveyoudavid
     
  2. seraphim_tears

    seraphim_tears New Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2008
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    school nurse
    Location:
    akron ohio
    Ratings:
    +0
    note from author

    *this is not my best piece, and certainly not well-constructed, but it came faster than i could get it out and hey, it is what it is. just needed to get something out that had been weighing been on my heart for awhile...
    that aside, i hope it is enjoyed, maybe understood, and taken a glance at by the talented poets i've been reading here.
    god bless--
    seraphim
     
  3. asimplepoet

    asimplepoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,261
    Likes Received:
    206
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Teacher
    Location:
    Somewhere between paradise and diaster
    Ratings:
    +229
    Excellent expression

    We have all been there before. For love has all taken us on this same roller coaster a time or two. This was a great expression of that thing called love.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,977
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,177
    welcome to destee.com poetic playground
    indeed well felt i been here and felt this surely we all have
    your pen seem to have much to say keep writing as i read u
    again welcome within sistah......
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    I think most of us have been down that one sided path. I certainly enjoyed the concise way this piece was posed. Welcome to Destee.com. I'm looking forward to reading more form you poetess.
     
  6. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2008
    Messages:
    952
    Likes Received:
    69
    Occupation:
    child care provider
    Location:
    eartH (Heart) is my home
    Ratings:
    +73
    i enjoyed your piece

    and it's so funny how we perceive our own work. While it may not be your best piece (in your eyes) it definitely exudes the emotional overtones you wish to express, so I say well done and welcome! And by the way, some of our most poignant work is that which pours out of us without the editor in chief to rewrite our prose!
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - Untitled
  1. Desert Storm
    Replies:
    2
    Views:
    372
  2. $$RICH$$
    Replies:
    2
    Views:
    430
  3. YingYang11
    Replies:
    1
    Views:
    413
  4. asimplepoet
    Replies:
    4
    Views:
    451
  5. Desert Storm
    Replies:
    3
    Views:
    553