Black Poetry : Untitled (need help)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Defiantson, Sep 24, 2006.

  1. Defiantson

    Defiantson Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Laying there
    Gasping for air
    Muffled voice
    Screaming for help

    Cries falling on death ears
    Seeing it happen
    How that bullet
    Pierced into his flesh

    Smelling his living corps
    Being burned by iron and blood
    Realizing that bullets
    Don’t have names

    13 now in a wheel chair
    Paralyzed neck down
    He did not have a choice
    He was made that way

    Who would have thought
    Bullets would be flying
    People ducking every where
    As he walked out the door

    A mother’s nightmare
    Seeing her child
    Lying in the street
    Never to walk again

    His name unknown
    Like so many
    Never making newspaper reviews
    Another kid project bound living in hostility

    neighborhoods
    once felt like home
    now a war zone
    torn by violance

    Bushwick
    Never been the same
    Handicapping innocents without warning
    Became a past time

    Remebering times of joy
    where hop scotch
    Jump Rope
    was played

    Now a place
    where gun shot
    drive by's
    found a home

    Brooklyn I miss you
    Bring joy back to life
    Like you had
    Once upon a time
     
  2. sweettee29

    sweettee29 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    DEFIANTSON I REALLY FELT THIS PIECE AND THE ONLY TITLE THAT COMES TO MIND IS "TAKEN"

    SWEETTEE, LOVE
     
  3. Defiantson

    Defiantson Well-Known Member MEMBER

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  4. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Tyte suspenseful drop Poet:spinstar:

    :read:

    :picture:
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    felt this and surely know it so well .....
    when i read it i only can see a title (GUNS & ROSES )
     
  6. Defiantson

    Defiantson Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks to both of you, I still don't know but then people seem not to read my work. Anyways, its not about all that... you be easy and again thanks for the input.
     
  7. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So many neighborhoods, once feeling like home, now, a war zone. Not sure what the title should be, but your words took the reader into that dreadful space.
     
  8. Defiantson

    Defiantson Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yo thats dope thanks for the input.
     
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