Black Poetry : untitled (for now)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by carsonh, Jul 19, 2008.

  1. carsonh

    carsonh Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    These are just a few lines from different parts of a new poem I am working on. I will post the comleted piece in the critiques section as soon as i finish it up. Just looking for some feed back and thoughts on if the family is feeling it.


    "in the breaking waves i hear whispers,
    whispers of my ancestors"



    ..."and though perrched on the shore of the caribbean sea
    afrika is a part of me
    deeply
    consciously
    spiritually
    eternally.

    morbid though it be
    it holds a certain comfort for me
    knowing that im never alone by the atlantic sea"...



    "...whispers turn to screams
    the ancestors cry out
    afrika cries out
    her children stolen
    her womb left barren..."



    "...you may think its in my head
    because you dont know about spiritual continuity
    so to you my ancestors are dead
    but no, there is more
    my ancestors are stored in me
    ancestral knowledge and power make up my core
    it flows through in my blood
    and is written from bone to bone
    and when the waves break my ears become a rosetta stone
    translating what was (hidden) internal
    into english - silently (internally/mentally) audible
    tuning me into knowledge ancestral
    spiritual power eternal

    selah."
     
  2. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So eloquent and powerful poet, made me envision the voices living and breathing within those waves. Looking forward to reading more.
     
  3. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    um

    i'm feeling it

    very spiritual

    very deep

    it lifted me so i know i felt it

    lol
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    awesome write very uplifting to da soul
     
  5. carsonh

    carsonh Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks for the feed back family...the entire piece (pre-edit) will be posted soon
     
  6. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Great write Poet
    You sure you want to change it?
    It is true what you see.
    It is true what you wrote.

    I have had simular thoughts.

    Thanks for this.. flow Brother
     
  7. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    I liked the whole, but the last stanza is the most powerful for me!
     
  8. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can hear my Ancestors call in the deep of the Atlantic
    and I am on the West Coast.

    From the Coast of Africa thru the Middle Passage.
    To every shore on the East Coast.
    I hear the call

    I hear the bones deep in the Ocean
    still holding wisdom of a time long past.
    Explaining that time will always continue
    But memories embedded in our bones will last.
     
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