Black Short Stories : Untiltled Short Story #2201209 (All I Had To Do)

Discussion in 'Short Stories - Authors - Writing' started by skuderjaymes, Dec 23, 2009.

  1. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    "I've been in love with you baby,
    since before you learned to call my name,
    If you don't love me baby,
    it's go'n drive me insane."

    She sang with perfect pitch.. in rhythm and tune with the instrumental break​
    of the twelve bar blues blaring from my radio. I froze in place, my finger​
    suspended in mid-air above the keys of my typewriter. She can sing..​
    not just sing.. but sing sing.. Billie-Ella-Diane Reeves kind of sing. It surprised​
    the hell out of me because.. well, I don't know why, but it just did.​
    "I've been in love with you baby,
    since before you learned to call my name,
    If you don't love me daddy,
    it's go'n drive me-ee-ee insane."

    She sang again with all the agility and timing of a horn player, like Miles​
    or Trane. She had been talking to me the entire night.. well, not to me, but​
    around me.. unraveling her story layer by layer. Was this part of it?
    Is that what had happened to her? Had she loved and lost?..​
    I was beginning to piece together a very loose and out of sequence narrative​
    of what had brought her to her present condition. I could ask her, but why​
    risk ruining the fragile magical musical peace we had silently brokered? Words​
    and questions are over-rated in the action-oriented world of living. Why talk,​
    when you can feel? Why cry when you can listen to the blues and smile knowing​
    that someone understands what you're going through..​
    The song was over now, and she had retreated to the lighter-than-usual​
    dark recesses of her madness.. her usual angry rambling replaced with a​
    benevolent gentle reflective breeze of girlish giggles and smiles.​
    And to think: All I had to do, was play the blues.​
    the end.​
     
  2. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Now this is a masterpiece

    This is a good snap shot of how the singing and emotions of the singer captured you as a listener.

    I like how you flowed this with story.
    Very creative. There are several lines I especially liked.
    One was your opening line of how upon hearing her sing, you froze and immediately was enamored.


    This flow is just as captivating.. Keep sharing. Your very gifted.
     
  3. sarcasm4eva

    sarcasm4eva Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this was tyte. it cant be the end though...got me interested. i'll be awaitin pt. 2
     
  4. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Thank you very very much.. good to know that that feeling I felt came across.
     
  5. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    WoW...I want some more....daddy.....*girlish smile*

    I KNOW Brother Clyde and company (those who've heard me sing:SuN049:)

    still..I'm in an "illusion" Ok?

    Keep telling my Story Brother SkuderJ!

    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  6. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    thank you true.. you're going to have to let me hear you sing sometime..
     
  7. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    very poetic!!!
     
  8. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lol :nono: I will NOT spoil our fruitfully budding Relationship :nono:

    PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS....lol

    Ya'll can tell the truth Clyde and/or others who've heard


    but maybe....under the right conditions....:blush:

    it will all sound different...
    cause you'll hear her story unfold
    a story being told by the loud and the
    bold; ready able and willing to sing these blues.
    I'm wanting to tell the tale of the events on this journey,
    one which has brought me to you.​


    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  9. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    hey.. True.. I like that.. I can't believe I didn't notice it before.. I have a wide
    screen so it was all the way to the right..
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    awesome write and creational thoughts from a mindset
     
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