Poetry Critiques : Until Then

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Young Poet, Feb 26, 2005.

  1. Young Poet

    Young Poet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    To let you all know.. This was a poem I wrote to my ex girlfriend Yanna, when her and I were going out.. Just to clear that up.

    When I picture a woman with beauty and love
    you are the first image I think of

    You are the foundation of my affection
    and out of all my worldly desires
    you are the first that I acquire.

    I hold you deeply and dear to my heart
    but I worry that one day we may grow apart
    and I'll lose you to someone new

    Until then you have all my affection
    For you have taught me the true meaning of feminine
    Showed me a true friend and how to treat a woman

    and my loyalty because of your elegance
    style, beauty, grace
    And your goddess - like face

    I hold feelings for you
    that are not easy to replace
     
  2. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Say how you feel

    Young "P" got it goin on. I like the way that you are able to express your innermost feelings. The sky is limit for one so in touch with their feelings. :picture:
     
  3. phenomenalwoman

    phenomenalwoman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree with 1poet you really dug deep on this one and it come shows in your writing, great work
     
  4. Young Poet

    Young Poet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Anymore Critiques?
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    the depth of this spell awesome
    i like the full concept of it
     
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