Intro It’s funny how when you’re little you have your whole life mapped out in your mind. Graduate from college, get married to a fine *** man, and have lots of babies. But everybody knows that ****s for the birds because something always happens that messes up your plans. This, my friends, is what happened to me……. [CENTER]Prologue[/CENTER] “Ms. McDaniels, can you hear me? This is Dr. Marshall.” I saw a figure in a white coat standing over me, waiting on my response. “She’s still in shock and she’s lost a lot of blood. We’ll need to keep her here a few more days for observation to make sure she isn’t suicidal.” “I heard a voice say, “That’ll be fine doctor,” and he turned to leave the room. As he left, my vision slowly became a little clearer and I noticed that Dr. Marshall was relaying that information to my mother, Zola. At 38, my mother was a very beautiful woman. She was the color of a Hershey’s chocolate bar, with a short, sassy cut that fit her face just right. She stood next to my bed in a red, knee length dress that tied at her side and although her makeup was always spotless, you could see the tracks in her face made by the tears she shed for me. “How you feeling baby,” she asked while softly stroking the right side of my face. “I feel okay aside from this unbearable cramping. What happened?” I was concerned for myself and I wanted to know what was going on. She looked at me with deep sorrow in her eyes and I knew then that the situation was serious. “The Dr said that you were about 5 weeks pregnant when complications occurred that caused you to loose the baby.” The words she spoke pierced my ears and polluted my heart. At 17, I now knew what it felt like to loose a child. Tears welled up in my eyes and I immediately began to blame myself. What did I do to cause the life of my unborn child to end so soon? “They want to keep you here a few more days for observation and the doctor said you need to get some rest,” She began to caress the side of my face in an attempt to console me, but I had so many emotions running through me; I didn’t know how to react. “Did anyone call Shaun,” I asked.” No one was able to get in touch with him, but you can call him later, okay baby?” I thought about my boyfriend of 2 years and how he would feel about the loss of our first child. I braced myself for a conversation I’m sure would break his heart. “Listen baby,” my mother said while grabbing her purse and jacket off the chair, “I have to go, but I’ll be back later to check on you, ok? I just wanted to make sure you were alright before I left.” She gave me a hug and kiss and made her way into the traffic that congested the hospital hallway. I picked up the hospital phone and hesitated; what would I say to the boy I loved with all my heart? How could I tell him that the child we made together was no longer growing inside of me? My thoughts drifted to the dinner we had a few days earlier in celebration of my pregnancy. *** “Hey baby,” he said in that deep, sexy voice of his. “Why don’t you come to my house so we can celebrate the start of our new family.” “Are you serious baby?” I was happy because I wasn’t expecting him to take the news this well. We were young and both of us had a lot going for ourselves. He had major colleges looking at him for basketball scholarships and I just about had my pick of which school I wanted to attend on an academic scholarship.. Neither one of us needed the extra added burden of a child. “Of course I’m serious. You’ve given me something that’s special and I want to show you how much I appreciate you.” My heart almost melted, he was so sweet. “Okay, I’ll be there in an hour.” I jumped up off of my purple comforter and went to my walk in closet to find something to wear. I walked down the hall of our 3 bedroom house and knocked softly on my mother’s bedroom door. I didn’t like to disturb her when she was doing her crossword puzzles, which was always. She left those books all over the **** place. If her boyfriend was in town, she’d be somewhere shacked up with him instead of doing those books. I poked my head through the door., “Hey ma, Shaun just invited me to his house for dinner, so I’ll see you when I get back.” “Ok, baby. Drive safe and tell him I said hello.” She didn’t’ really question me about where I went because I didn’t go too many places. I wanted to tell her about my pregnancy but I wasn’t sure how she would take it. My mother was always pressuring me about going to college and I know she’ll be disappointed when she hears about the new addition to our family. That’s precisely why I’m waiting to tell her. I decided to wear my blue and white V-neck shirt and my white capris. I bumped my hair right quick and rubbed Victoria Secret’s Pretty In Pink lotion into my caramel skin. I jumped in my white 97 Escort and turned my radio to Hot 103.9. I lived off of Garners Ferry road and Shaun lived in the Irmo area, so I had about a 20 minute ride. When I arrived at his house, there were no cars in the driveway. I didn’t think anyone was home at first because there were no cars in the driveway. As I got closer to the door I heard music playing. “Somebody must be home,” I said to myself as I heard Dru Hill’s “Beauty” playing in the background. I knocked on the door and he answered it looking straight delicious!! “Hey baby,” he said while kissing me on the check. ****!!! This boy was FOINE! He was only a year older than me, but he looked like a grown *** man. He reminded me of a smaller version of Omar Epps. His hair was cut low, and his eyes were light brown with a hint of orange. He was dressed in a black wife beater that showed his muscles in all their glory, and pair of black basketball shorts. “Hey yourself,” I said as I walked in the house. He had our dinner set at the table, which included mashed potatoes, fried chicken, and corn. I found out it was the only thing he knew how to cook without burning. “Where’s your mama?” I asked while taking off my jacket. That was the only question I had because, we didn’t’ exactly see eye to eye and I knew she wouldn’t have went for this. “She’s out of town with her boyfriend, so she won’t be back until tomorrow.” “Is that right,” I said while walking towards him. “That’s right,” he said as he stepped toward me. We got lost in each other as we shared a passionate kiss that almost lead to the bedroom. “Nah, ain’t none of that happening. That’s why I’m getting fat now,” I said jokingly. He stood behind me, wrapped his arms around me and placed his hands on my belly and whispered in my ear, “I love you Charise McDaniels,” “I love you too, TyShaun Miller.” *** I decided to go ahead and make the call, because we loved each other and we would get through this together. I picked up the phone and dialed the number. Beads of sweat began to form on my forehead as I waited for someone to pickup. “Hel-lo,” an aggravated voice said. I already knew who it was. “Hi, Ms. Miller, may I speak with Shaun please?” “Hold on a minute girl.” I hated when she answered the phone because she was so **** rude. I didn’t even understand why she didn’t like me. “SHAUN, come get this phone,” she yelled. “I got it,” he said as he picked up the phone. “Hello,” he said in that sexy *** voice of his. “Hey baby, what you doing?” “Nothin much. Watchin the new And One mix tape. How are you feeling?” I hesitated once again, but I couldn’t hold back any longer. “Shaun, I have some bad news and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it. I’m in the hospital right now because some complications occurred that made me loose the baby; our baby.” There was an unbearable silence and he broke it by saying. “What hospital are you in?” “I’m at Baptist in room 432.” “ I’ll be there in a minute,” and just like that he was gone. I was so deep in thought about Shaun; I didn’t hear the doctor when he came into my room. I never really noticed before, but he was a very handsome man and he looked like he was young. He was very tall with a low cut and his eyes were mesmerizing. He kinda looked like Michael Jai White without the gap. Even though he had his hospital coat on, I could tell he worked out a lot and maybe even played some type of sport in his spare time. “Charise, I just got your lab results back and I believe we found what caused your miscarriage. We found traces of RU-486 in your blood.” “You found WHAT in my blood? How did it get there?” “That’s what I’m here to find out. I need to know if you terminated this pregnancy on your own, because you could be facing serious complications as far as your health is concerned.” I looked at this doctor like he was crazy. Yeah a baby was the last thing I needed right now, but I wouldn’t kill my own flesh and blood. “Look, I don’t even know what RU-485 is and I’m pretty sure I haven’t taken it. What does it have to do with the loss of my baby?” He pulled one of the visitors chairs close to my bed and looked me dead in the eye. “It’s RU-486 and it’s an abortion pill sometimes referred to as Mifepristone. It blocks your progesterone hormone, which you need in order for your pregnancy to continue. If you don’t get the proper treatment when using this drug, there could be serious complications for you. I didn’t know what to say, I was speechless. How could something I KNOW I didn’t take show up in my system. “This pill could’ve have easily been given to you. It could’ve been put in a drink or placed in food.” My mind was a wreck and I couldn’t think straight. My thoughts were getting the best of me and I knew what I was thinking couldn’t be true. “Dr. Marshall, I can assure you, I did not take this drug. Nobody could have given it to me because only two people knew I was pregnant; my boyfriend and me. That’s it! Something must be wrong with your lab!!” I was starting to get upset. How could he accuse me of killing my own child with a pill? “Hey baby. Wus goin on in here? Sounds like you were yelling?” Shaun managed to slip into the room unnoticed. “Dr. Marshall, this is my boyfriend TyShaun Miller,” They shook each other’s hand while Dr. Marshall had an uneasy look on his face. “Everything is fine baby. The doctor and I were discussing my health, that’s all. Is there anything else, Doctor?” I gave him a look that said it all and he knew not to say another word about what we were discussing. “Not at this time Ms. McDaniels, but I will be back to check on you.” With that said, he left the room. “He was just telling me that they found traces of some abortion pill in my system, and that my health could be in danger and some other crap. Can you believe that? He actually had the nerve to ask me if I terminated my pregnancy.” Shaun grabbed my hand and sat down in the chair next to me. “Listen baby, what I’m about to tell you is not easy; but I have to let you know.” He took a deep breathe and said, “I know all the abortion pill and I knew exactly what the consequence would be. I know this because I gave it to you…..