Black Relationships : Understanding your partner?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Sodwn2earth, Sep 15, 2005.

  1. Sodwn2earth

    Sodwn2earth Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What do you do when you have trouble understanding your partner and the constructive criticsm you try to give only adds to the confusion and the frustration?
     
  2. Riada

    Riada Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I’m assuming here that your partner genuinely wants the relationship to work and is a mature enough person. Well, here’s a “mirroring” technique that can be helpful and works wonders for me.

    Have your partner repeat to you what is being heard because often your partner may be hearing something you’re not saying.

    For ex. if you say: “I think that if you went to bed before midnight, Sweetie, you could get up in time to get to work on time.


    He might be hearing: “You’re not acting like a grown man. You obviously don’t know when to go to bed, so I’m just going to be the adult here and tell you what to do.”

    Since you were giving him constructive criticism, this was not your message at all, but maybe he’s had other people boss him around and tell him what to do all of his life and at that moment all of those other people are there in the room and he feels you’re their spokesperson, and he’s sick of it all, so he gets mad at you. Now you don’t know he heard what he did, but if he mirrors what you say by repeating it, you’ll know it and that will give you a chance to respond to what he heard and clear things up.

    Hope this helps.
     
  3. Lloyd

    Lloyd Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well,thatz a good question:if i live such situation,i will let the time operate!!I mean i'll not say anything anymore,no matter my partner will try to do!!!I'll just act like my partner is just a spirit that i can't see.She'll understand that something is wrong and when she'll be ready to make a deal with me,she'll comes alone!!In theory it seems really easy but in practice itz very hard to apply
     
  4. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Leave that fool alone...your partner is crazy. :lol:

    Naw, seriously. Your partner is too emotional. They need to step back from the conversation and relax a little bit. Your partner is too wired up right now. Your partner's focus is not their. Talk to your partner after a shower or after dinner when your partner's belly is full. :lol:
     
  5. sonnee01

    sonnee01 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good Question


    WOW... that is the question of the year. Well in my humble opinion I think that after one has tried over and over again to reach their partner but all their actions render no results... it’s time to keep it movin.

    For me communication is a two way process, so if one is tryin to communicate with their partner and their partner is non receptive there is not much one can do.

    Now in terms of constructive criticism, everyone does not know how to receive constructive criticism, so that could be a reason why that adds to the confusion and frustration.
     
  6. Wisdom7

    Wisdom7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'd say too, it depends on what type of "constructive criticism" u are trying to deliver.
     
  7. Sodwn2earth

    Sodwn2earth Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I see. Thanks guys.
     
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