Poetry Critiques : UNDER HERE

dymondtanae

Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Aug 1, 2005
10
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Can any one feel me under here?
I’m swallowed up by the Black Holes
Of depression, deceit, lies and oppressors
Not White
Not Black
Translucent with no figures
The 7 deadly sins injected into my veins like venom
Can anyone hear me under here?
With demons screaming scheming on ways
To have my life filled with sinful days
Absolute and Cranberry Juice affecting my brain
Weed and alcohol isn’t to blame
I slipped up and let the devil
Take control of my domain
Can anyone see me under here?
Cause I’m heading nowhere but downstairs
Believe me that’s a lot to fear
Eternal Damnation
Gods Creation
Subjective to the devils recreations
Somebody tell Jesus I need some
Self-examination
Some rejuvenation
Some soul augmentation
Some salvation
Negativity has shackles on my feet
So I can’t elevate my passivity
God and his son is the only being I owe
So how come I can’t grasp that
And let this evilness go

I know someone can feel me under here
Hear me under here
See me under here
I’m touching too many people under here
Listening to, too many screams under here
Looking at too many people bleed under here
It’s just too many people under here that’s near
Not to feel, hear or, see where I’m coming from
Or am I the only one to admit where I went wrong
The only one that wants to repent, receive GOD
And make HEAVEN my home.
Copyright@2001LaMekaBland
 
welcome to destee.com honest of critical voices
welcome to u for making our home yours to share
welcome to the family ....let me say this was very nice
the concept and structure was on point great poem.
 

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