Black Relationships : Unconditional love? What is that?

[Queenie]

Kitana, thanks for the clarification about the definitions. It is very interesting to see the variety of perspectives on whether unconditional love can be attained or not, whether it exists or not, that it does exist but only with God, and that it exists including outside of God. But Empathy's response made me pause a moment to contemplate.

Empathy: "...you either have it or you don't! I don't believe it can be attained, it just is. It is either there or it isn't you cannot try to love someone in that manner, it is a natural phenomenon."

Empathy, you don't believe that this "purest" form of love can be learned through enlightenment?

Scorp wrote: "Queenie, I don't think it's the latest "buzz" more like the latest "label". It's always existed but in this age of 5-year warranties, refund/exchange policies and money-back guaranties we are accumstomed to sure-things and an easy-way-out. When the going gets tough, the masses have gotten lazy and noncommital. But that lil voice in most of us--craves the possibility that unconditional love is right around that next corner so therefore don't seek it but let it find you and be open to it."

Deep and provocative statement. We are definitely living in times of throw-aways, fast-foods, disposable this and recycled that. Marriages can even take place at drive-thru's--just pull your car up to the window single, say "I do" and drive away married. In some circumstances, divorces can take place almost as fast.

I'm thankful there are still people out there who long for a deeper experience!

 

[Kitana]

QUEEN..

I believe in every opinion that has been expressed so far..it shows how the same subject can be viewed from different prospectives...and every person will have their own definition of what it means to them...

I also strongly agree with monetg's comments...too many things in our society hold little or no value any more to so many people, and I have stated before in other threads that in my opinion, one of the main reasons marraiges/committments do not last anymore is because a lot of people are not willing to go the distance, put the time into it, or be prepared to work through problems....it's much easier to get a quickie divorce and move on..as a society we need to get back to the basic traditional values...love, respect, honesty and good old fashioned family...I know it all sounds a bit like a fairytale to look at in this perspective, but I believe on the whole it is acheivable...and desirable to maintain a peaceful world for us all to live in....

K

 

[A007]

Scorp I understand where you are coming from but I respectfully deny that it is possible to have 'unconditional love' as humans.

Even with our children (and I have two) there are things that they could do to diminish our love for them and (in some cases) cause people to not love their children. It may be homosexuality, drugs, crime, disrespect, the abscence of their love for their parent...and many others.
Does that make it right? No. But non-the-less it is how we are...imperfect by nature.

With your friends...there are things they could do to diminish or delete your love for them. Sleep with your man, do something bad to you or your family..etc.

We have conditions on our love because we can not love perfectly like God. Does that mean we should not aspire to that...no! But, to believe that we will ever get to the point where we love people without conditions is as unrealistic as saying we will be perfect at some point in our lives.

Just my take on it. What do you all think?

 

[monetg]

A007,

I have heard it said that a parent can stop loving a child but I have yet to meet a parent who has. I think we need to feel that in control of our emotions to satisfy the ego--believing that we can turn love on/off if we have to-but I don't believe we can anymore than we can control our heartbeat. People confuse disassociation with "love deletion" (to borrow your term). You can cut ties to your child--ie not speaking to them, not acknowledging them as your kin but stop loving them altogether--not possible. And if I ever did meet a parent who has stopped loving their child I'd have to question 2 things: whether they ever loved that child to begin with and whether they're fit enough to be a parent in the first place. Have you ever noticed that when they televise even the most henious crimes (the molestation/murder of a child, mass murders, serial rapes/murders) who is sitting behind the defendent/accused? The parents, which demonstrates that you can be shunned and hated by almost the entire world but a parents love will remain.
Again, there is nothing my friends could do to diminish or "delete" my love for them. I expect them to make mistakes, I expect them to hurt me and realize that all that falls within the definition of love. Where is it written that love is always laughter, flowers, candy and good times?
Thinking we can not do something keeps us from doing that very thing. As long as I think that I can not love perfectly like God, then I won't. But as soon as I believe that I can love wholely and purely becuase that is what I need in return then I will love wholely and purely. Man may not ever be perfect but love can be.

 

[ZeroGravity]

Interesting Conversation indeed...

for a person who believe that we place conditions on who we want to be with, and one to believe that love is a choice, then it must stand to reason for me that we also place conditions on love as well.

Everyone before me have spoken very eloquently on the subject "unconditional love" so I don't want to repeat what others has said, but since Dre was the last poster before me, I will piggyback on his comments...I concur with his perspective wholeheartedly. Although at some other time, I might would like to revisit his last sentence

Excellent thread Queen! Great Dialogue.