Black Relationships : Unattractive women

karmashines

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There's been a lot of talk about black women not choosing suitable mates... overlooking a good man for Mr. Pretty Boy or Mr. Bad Boy. A man who may be fat, skinny, or in some way less attractive or less 'thuggish' seem to miss out.

Well, how many of the men on this board would go for a woman that is unattractive? Someone who is overweight, or too skinny, or has a very plain or even ugly face? Some would argue that some of these women could be good mates just as much as a man in a similar predicament.
 

panafrica

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karmashines said:
There's been a lot of talk about black women not choosing suitable mates... overlooking a good man for Mr. Pretty Boy or Mr. Bad Boy. A man who may be fat, skinny, or in some way less attractive or less 'thuggish' seem to miss out.

Well, how many of the men on this board would go for a woman that is unattractive? Someone who is overweight, or too skinny, or has a very plain or even ugly face? Some would argue that some of these women could be good mates just as much as a man in a similar predicament.
I don't know too many men that will date a woman who he feels is unattractive. However, what every man thinks is attractive widely varies. There are just as many men who like big women as there are who like thin women. A woman who one man finds to be ugly or plain, another man might think is beautiful. In addition there are many men who concentrate more on a woman's body than her face (although the opposite also exists). One important thing to consider is that just because a man says he wants an attractive woman, that doesn't mean he is looking for a supermodel or a music video dancer. When most guys say they want an "attractive woman", they usually mean a woman who is attractive to him. That can be (and often is) any woman.
 

SAMURAI36

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panafrica said:
I don't know too many men that will date a woman who he feels is unattractive. However, what every man thinks is attractive widely varies. There are just as many men who like big women as there are who like thin women. A woman who one man finds to be ugly or plain, another man might think is beautiful. In addition there are many men who concentrate more on a woman's body than her face (although the opposite also exists). One important thing to consider is that just because a man says he wants an attractive woman, that doesn't mean he is looking for a supermodel or a music video dancer. When most guys say they want an "attractive woman", they usually mean a woman who is attractive to him. That can be (and often is) any woman.
True indeed.
 

jamesfrmphilly

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i am a fool for beauty.......

black women are generally beautiful unless they do something damaging to themselves.
to me an unattractive woman is one who has harmed herself in some manner and is therefore showing me up front that she has problems.
 

Sun Ship

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panafrica said:
I don't know too many men that will date a woman who he feels is unattractive. However, what every man thinks is attractive widely varies. There are just as many men who like big women as there are who like thin women. A woman who one man finds to be ugly or plain, another man might think is beautiful. In addition there are many men who concentrate more on a woman's body than her face (although the opposite also exists). One important thing to consider is that just because a man says he wants an attractive woman, that doesn't mean he is looking for a supermodel or a music video dancer. When most guys say they want an "attractive woman", they usually mean a woman who is attractive to him. That can be (and often is) any woman.
I totally agree with Brother Pan this is a very subjective thing…though there are plenty of shallow Black men who want video dancers or runway models on their arms or in bed…In a broader sense, Black men views of what is beauty is lot more broader than the general American idea. That’s why we could appreciate an Aretha Franklin or Chaka Kahn-type back in the day (thickness) as well as the more petite ideas of beauty. White culture has a more limited allowance for female beauty…a thick white woman rarely has a place in Hollywood or in the music industry…

I don’t think "some" sisters are into looks as much as they are into image and the “semblance of power” (thug, corporate, preacher, player, etc.).

Now all men and women, of all ethnicities and so-called races, can get caught up on looks and image…its just becomes a social and cultural issue when it becomes overly pathological.
 

MANASIAC

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panafrica said:
I don't know too many men that will date a woman who he feels is unattractive. However, what every man thinks is attractive widely varies. There are just as many men who like big women as there are who like thin women. A woman who one man finds to be ugly or plain, another man might think is beautiful. In addition there are many men who concentrate more on a woman's body than her face (although the opposite also exists). One important thing to consider is that just because a man says he wants an attractive woman, that doesn't mean he is looking for a supermodel or a music video dancer. When most guys say they want an "attractive woman", they usually mean a woman who is attractive to him. That can be (and often is) any woman.

Brother Pan this was said so eloquently. I hope that more women can read this post.
 

Sun Ship

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karmashines said:
Someone who is overweight, or too skinny, or has a very plain or even ugly face? Some would argue that some of these women could be good mates just as much as a man in a similar predicament.
jamesfrmphilly said:
black women are generally beautiful unless they do something damaging to themselves.
to me an unattractive woman is one who has harmed herself in some manner and is therefore showing me up front that she has problems.
Spinning off of Brother James’ statement and addressing Sister Karmashines descriptions, let me also say this…That some Black women destroy their natural beauty because they have this idea that their natural looks are not enough and they are too plain or unappealing…with this idea they start wearing weaves and makeup that doesn’t blend with their complexion and features. They wear clothes that were designed for the European woman, which are not enhancing or compliments the African woman’s physique. For many times they've been raised and subliminally taught to devalue the natural aesthetics of African beauty.

Now I know this is from the destruction and indoctrination of our Sisters minds by way of America maligning and distorting the images of African Beauty, but it many times will turn a otherwise very beautiful Black woman into something else. Now I’m dealing with this post in the context of looks, for this type of mental/media onslaught has also destroyed the natural countenance and civil attitude of some of our women.
 

Riada

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May 14, 2005
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Thanks, Sis Karmashines, for posting this thread.

I hope brothas don’t try to front on this issue. If so, I will just be too through!! LOL

In my clubbing days, when I was in my low and mid twenties, I used to go out with girlfriends to clubs a lot. One particular friend of mine, Carrie is about 5’8”, slim, with a Caucasian phenotype and body (full-breasts, slim hips) and skin the color of light wheat. I’m 2 inches shorter, with more brown in my skin. I look more like a North African woman who looks African and I have a more proportional build. Both Carrie and I looked sleek when we got dressed up. Sometimes, darker, chubbier, girlfriends with so-called “strong African” features would go with us to the clubs, also looking good..

We could always predict who would be approached first by guys to dance or offered a drink. Carrie first. Then me. Then the darker, plumper sister. Now, I didn’t care because I got enough attention. But the darker, thick sista often didn’t get asked to dance until sometimes the record was almost over or not at all. Carrie or I, would sometimes act like we were too tired to dance just so the guy would ask the other sista since all of us were paying the taxi fare. So I really understand why some chocolate sistas resent lighter skinned sistas. And I hate it when people try to deny the reality of those sistas and tell them that we are all the same and that a woman’s looks don’t matter that much. Yeah, Right!!!!!

I’m older now but things have not changed much. I know that a lot of brothas are with thick or outright fat chocolate sistas with “strong, African features.” But I often wonder WHO would those men be with if they were rich and powerful and could pick and choose ANY woman they wanted. I really wonder if those guys and a lot of you guy here would prefer those plump, or fat chocolate sistas lying around your swimming pools and yachts.
Fess up brothas.
 

panafrica

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Riada said:
In my clubbing days, when I was in my low and mid twenties, I used to go out with girlfriends to clubs a lot. One particular friend of mine, Carrie is about 5’8”, slim, with a Caucasian phenotype and body (full-breasts, slim hips) and skin the color of light wheat. I’m 2 inches shorter, with more brown in my skin. I look more like a North African woman who looks African and I have a more proportional build. Both Carrie and I looked sleek when we got dressed up. Sometimes, darker, chubbier, girlfriends with so-called “strong African” features would go with us to the clubs, also looking good..

We could always predict who would be approached first by guys to dance or offered a drink. Carrie first. Then me. Then the darker, plumper sister. Now, I didn’t care because I got enough attention. But the darker, thick sista often didn’t get asked to dance until sometimes the record was almost over or not at all. Carrie or I, would sometimes act like we were too tired to dance just so the guy would ask the other sista since all of us were paying the taxi fare. So I really understand why some chocolate sistas resent lighter skinned sistas. And I hate it when people try to deny the reality of those sistas and tell them that we are all the same and that a woman’s looks don’t matter that much. Yeah, Right!!!!!

I’m older now but things have not changed much. I know that a lot of brothas are with thick or outright fat chocolate sistas with “strong, African features.” But I often wonder WHO would those men be with if they were rich and powerful and could pick and choose ANY woman they wanted. I really wonder if those guys and a lot of you guy here would prefer those plump, or fat chocolate sistas lying around your swimming pools and yachts.
Fess up brothas.
I think you need to read what I wrote again.
 

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