i cant get enough of your name, its insane you take up 55% of my brain and i cant maintain im attracted to you like a moth to flame its not about self esteem, but how can you feel the same? is it real or am i reaching for hope in you? is this a futile dream to have a love thats true? im lost in my feelings and dont know what to do i wanna surrender to the sweet bliss that i seek its like paradise has a window, and you're a peek you make me feel gentle when i wanna feel tough you could give me all of you and it wont be enough my gut says yes but my heart is not convinced it's been burned once and hasn't been the same since my greatest fear is for men and womens tendency to cheat i wish i could read minds but then trust would be obsolete and without trust, what human can feel complete? i hate being torn between my own emotions, like a civil war it could be happiness knocking, but im scared to open the door unease at the thought of someone in my heart again but i know that we can never be just "friends" will it never end, this constant worry and suspicion? my heart talks all negative, should i even listen? should i follow my gut and take a risk in loving you, or should i pretend i dont feel anything new? when i see you talking to guys why do i feel jealousy? will i be a coward and let love make me flee? who can answer these questions but me? its less painful but it's no hope involved its like a big riddle waiting to be solved i used to think i knew love but it has evolved. Derrick H.