Black Poetry : Um, I just need some an opinion

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by poeticlyspeakin, May 7, 2004.

  1. poeticlyspeakin

    poeticlyspeakin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Home is where the heart is, but my heart isn't her
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    this started off as a song... lemme know what ya think, its not finished but i just wanna know if u like it

    Baby, im not ready to leave cuz we have a lot of space n time to grow
    but it pains me to hear that someone else has seen the side of u im tryna get to know
    what happened to the long talks of laughter and sleepless nights of love
    how can we lose the fire when its only been a couple of months
    baby... my love is still the same, but communication isnt as sound
    i need to know, we need to slow up, and fix whats goin down

    cuz baby im climbin these walls of love
    it just keeps gettin steeper n steeper
    cuz im fallin baby
    im fallin deeper n deeper
    id probably trip n bump my head
    but only if u let me
    cuz baby Im fallin, **** Im fallin
    will u be right there to catch me?
     
  2. THEONE

    THEONE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nice, Nice, Im feeling this piece...Please FINISH
     
  3. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is a very cool piece...but, may I add a little something?...
    Instead of useing the word "falling" why not use "growing"?...
    We actually "GROW into love and "FALL out of it.
    just a tip...luv your work.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    this was tyte nice flow
     
  5. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    tight and dope, girl, but you know I would love to hear you sing this
     
  6. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nothing I could say that you should change, it's your vibe. I'd like to "hear" some more, liking it so far.
     
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