Black Relationships : Ugly?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by intolerant, Jun 4, 2003.

  1. intolerant

    intolerant Active Member MEMBER

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    I asked my boyfriend if he thinks that I am ugly and he responded, "No. And even if I thought that you were, I wouldn't say it or rub it in your face." So I am concered whether he thinks that I am ugly. Just like I ask him from time to time if he thinks that I am fat and he tells me the same quote, "No. And if I thought you were, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it." But back in January, he got mad at me and called me a fat dog. Should I be self-consious and worried? Thanks.
     
  2. intolerant

    intolerant Active Member MEMBER

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    what about the name he called me

    But called me a FAT DOG! I am a heavyset woman and he got mad at me and called me that name. I have gained a little weight, but I am not so big that I can't get off my behind and exercise and do things around the house. So that it why I feel insecure about this. It may sound pity, but I have to follow this up.
     
  3. Mahogany_Brown

    Mahogany_Brown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey intolerant,

    Wow, he called u a fat doq....interesting... Did he just come out and call u a "fat dog" because u just kept constantly asking him about how u looked and he just got tired of hearing it, or did he say"YOU FAT DOG!!!!!!!!!"(anger!!!)

    I think u really need to ease up on how u think u look. I understand because sometimes we do go into the "am I attractive" phase..However, it all starts from the inside, if u don't feel attractive its gonna show on the exterior. So definitely work on accepting yourself, and if u feel like u are "fat" maybe u should try doing some exercises, but I would concentrate mainly on the inner self. Cause if u don't feel attractive inside, it doesn't matter how many people tell u that u are attractive because u won't believe it! So stop concerning yourself so much with what others think and start concentrating on what u think and how yor mind works...You'll work it out, I'm sure you'll find a way... Peace..
     
  4. intolerant

    intolerant Active Member MEMBER

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    No, you don't understand. I did not keep on asking him if he thought I was fat. We got into an argument about something that had to do with him cheating on me back '02 and he got angry and called me a fat dog. And now he is saying that he did not mean it and that I am not fat. Other people never said that I was fat. I don't have to weigh 110 lbs to be considered as healthy. Don't you agree?
     
  5. intolerant

    intolerant Active Member MEMBER

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    I do exercise

    I do excercise and I still look good. I ride my back every morning and evening. I take walks in the park. It is a lot of things I have been doing. I have been losing weight. At Christmas time, that is the time of the year when people usually gain weight and I lost weight instead. I did not pig out. I ate pretty much, but I still lost weight. I don't sit around the house all day like he does. He can't call me fat. He is starting to look like he has titties.
     
  6. Mahogany_Brown

    Mahogany_Brown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well my sista,

    I'm sorry if I misunderstood what u were saying before. Well now that I do understand what u really meant I would definitely advice u to seriously think about leaving this person. Its obvious that this man is showing you a lack of respect, and I'm sure that u know as well as I know that u deserve better. No one deserves to be insulted and demeaned by anyone. If he's not their to support u and to help u feel better about yourself then whats the point? also there is no reason to justify your weight or whether or not u exercise to anyone. I certainly hope u make the right decision for yourself. I say that if someone is not about love(loving u) then it makes no sense to be with that person, because all they can bring u is suffering...

    ...Kemestry what u said was wrong and seriously ignorant..This is not fun and games, if someone putting their problem out there and asking for suggestions, then u should take it seriously and not make foolish and infantile comments...They weren't funny brotha, however they did show your lack of compassion and consideration.....
     
  7. Was it Just us

    Was it Just us Member MEMBER

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    Well I will say that you are beautiful! You are as beautiful as you feel. Don't let anyone set the standards for your beauty. What is beauty to one may not be beauty to another. God made us all beautiful by creating us. If you don't think that you are beautiful and treat yourself accordingly how could you expect anyone else to? I make it a habbit to spoil myself and we all should wearing sexy things for you, smelling good for you, & looking good for you first and foremost will make you feel better about yourself. Be secure in you and be proud of who you are and don't question anyone about your status in those areas if you don't want a comment that may not be suitable to you!
     
  8. j'hiah

    j'hiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ms. Parker's (you know, from Moesha :D ) a heavyset woman but she's a pretty, classy heavyset even when she's doing her x-rated comedy. On a flip side, if he is calling you a fat dog, he must not feel good about himself.
     
  9. intolerant

    intolerant Active Member MEMBER

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    What do you mean?

    I am just curious, what does Ms. Parker have to do with him calling me a fat dog and my man not feeling good about himself... On the second thought, I would not even call him a man. I will just say that it is a so and so I live with. And like I said before, he is up here calling me a fat dog when he looks like he has titties.
     
  10. LibertyLady

    LibertyLady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    sister...
    do you think you are fat......?i think that first more inportant ....
    are you satisfied with yourself........the momant you feel...so converdant about yourself..........nothing can get to you......
    as far as the "bad words"......
    of course it does not gives him the right to call you a FATdog....(.and it still can hurt .......BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM.......)
    because he is angry..............but people do that all the time if they are bad ...they pick sumthing.........that you are unsure about.....
    istead of saying what is realy going on........LIke I,m angry on you because of this or because of....that or just say ''Hey you hurt me"
    hey but i feel ya.......
    just tell him how you feel about what he was saying.....
    talk togheter you know that always helps.........
    and of course our heavenly father......
    he will give you answers about yourself and him........
     
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