Quiet Poetry Lounge : two pieces

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by deepy, Dec 7, 2003.

  1. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    #1:you turn on a lite....an eye watching
    a feathered shape insect resting quietly...not moving
    understanding he has been seen
    He waits to move away into other dark corners....keeping his eye on you.
    the phone...green green insect life is watching
    the door ...-another feathered...
    the ceiling...another!
    Eyes are watching...no one moving
    waiting for nite to come to prowl and keep an eye on you
    Five for sure...not including the sandflies which bite on you
    You wonder who they are...how many more
    unseen looking
    keeping eyes on you
    mmhmm wmmmdddadda ahhhhhh
    together
    we wait for sleep Where
    I shall move into my dream world - lose site of them
    Perhaps to find out who they are...these eyes
    eyeing
    I









    #2 - The bluish greenish bluesandgreens - not the colors at all!
    white frost dripping unknown colors
    In the midst sprays shoot crystals Energy
    shining rays of reds oranges- bluegreenblues take other shades
    colors merge, separate, pop dash come go
    falling freely to the left for playfullness, tossing gently to the right
    while you are looking they spring up
    colors coolly dew my skin
    they laugh...
    i move to join merge...soon
    arms legs muscles are apart of
    inside outside under on top
    sensual senses
    They hurl me out....whispering come on back,
    come one
    Energy shining, warming, urging me into
    cool refreshment
    Out I come again!
    Laughing....OKAY
    Okay enough today
    I look and see in truth...ME
    apart of sky , earth , air and sea...
    while you're looking they spring up
    colors cooly dew your sking
    they laugh...you move join..merge soon
    arms

    [ deepy poems all copywrit..

    a
     
  2. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    likes your flow..nice write....
     
  3. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    the poem ends with..:apaart of earth , sky,,,,

    of sea.....

    i must haave done something when i was correcting it..or something... sorry
     
  4. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ah yeah
    liking how you mixed this
    nice one
    Peace
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    indeed u created a mixture of seasons into one
    very well done poetess.......as i bath in this one
     
  6. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    wonderful concoction of
    passion & mysticism...
    love the movement in
    your work...
     
  7. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree with sage, the movement of these two pieces was eye catching. The first one reminds me of this phrase, I been watching, watching you watching me...The second one, just a rhapsody of emotional colors dancing in the mind's eye.
     
  8. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Needless to say...you have a way with your pen. this piece was awesome and I was really diggin it...thanks for sharing with us.
     
  9. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    queentswana,watzinaname,angelicsage, $rich$:

    i appreciate your words...your energies..
    sorry it's taken awhile to respond to you all..
    been selfishly very busy....
    thanks...it is and you are appreciated.
     
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