Black People : Trying To Change Someone

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by legit-writer, Mar 9, 2013.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What is considered as trying to change someone? Is something as simple as telling a person that they need to change certain things that are detrimental to either themselves or the relationship that person has with them considered as trying to change them. What is your take on it?
     
  2. rapchild

    rapchild Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I will advice you not to even try.I have had BAD Experience trying to in the real world(not online).I must say my ways was a bit extreme cuz i thought that will make the change happen quickly so we all move on, business wise it was causing us money too.
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    change is good...
     
  4. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yeah but if someone is complaining about you, saying that you are trying to change them when you are only expressing your concerns and what you want to happen, then i wonder if that is honestly trying to change someone to be someone they are not.
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :11100: growth is change
     
  6. MsVeraisblessed

    MsVeraisblessed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i don't think we can really change a person who is already programmed to behave, act and/or feel exactly the way they want to.. if they want to change they will have to do it on their own.

    maybe the person who wants that person to change needs to compromise or meet halfway into their program. am i making sense?
     
  7. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hello Sister legit
    Asking someone to change isn't a bad thing. It shows your concerned about their behavior, how they are approaching something or the direction they are headed. Change is resisted because change is scary and leads to new challenges and the unknown. I believe everything is a challenge. Embrace the unknown and the challenges faced in life.
     
  8. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes it makes sense. Along with compromise must be consideration.
    True the change has be welcomed or wanted. ask.. would you change how that is done?
    If it is a romantic relationship. ask would you change that for me?

    Life is ever changing, like an atom within a molecule.. come together and create something fantastic and beautiful. Do not be afraid to smile.
     
  9. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Lead by example. Put your energy into yourself.. into your own behavior.. and align yourself with people that fit within the rhythm of your scheme. If they don't fit, don't force it.. just continue doing you.

    So, it's not a matter of "trying to change someone" as much as it is a matter of being more selective in who you allow into your personal emotional space.

    - how I see it..
     
  10. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    All that can be litterally trying to change someone. I guess the question is it for their betterment or yours?





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