Black Relationships : Trusting a Cheater Again

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by legit-writer, Sep 11, 2009.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When I say cheater, I am also including online relationships/long distance relationships as well.

    Many answers advise that if you have been cheated on, the cheater is going to lie to cover up the truth or to make things seem less serious than they actually were.

    I am in that situation and one of my question are, if the cheater is assumed to be lying, how does the victim EVER regain trust? If you have read my previous posts about this guy I was going to meet from the internet, well the girl he was originally with has found out that him and I was building a relationship, and when confronted about it, he said I meant nothing. I showed her our conversations that we had and even the letter he wrote to me. At first she was going to break it off with him, considering she went through this with another guy, and she claims she doesn't want to go through it again. Now she is saying that her and her man are prayers (yeah right) and, to me, is dumb enough to "work things out with him" when IMO he is going to do it again but just cover it up better than before.

    Second question: Hypothetically, if the cheater is genuinely full of remorse to the point of feeling suicidal, would it seem genuine or is that in itself a lie to try and cover their guilt? I know all cases and people are different but what are your experiences on this?


    And lastly, if a person chooses to or not to trust a cheater again, does that make them weak pr strong? In my case, I wouldn't go back to a cheater, does that make me a weak woman? Will it make me stronger to trust him after that or will it make me stronger to just get out of the situation with the notion that he will most likely do it again?

    I'm driving myself MAD trying to come to terms with this betrayal and trying to understand those who have decided to forgive and regain trust in their partner, because I couldn't do it. I think I would waste my time wondering if he is doing the same thing he did before and I would not be happy in the relationship.


    Thanks for reading
     
  2. Precise Allah

    Precise Allah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Peace,

    Keep it moving, just like how that person did when they broke their word (my guess is said person told you they wouldn't cheat). Plenty of people out there who actually get the meaning of honor and loyalty.

    Peace
    Precise Infinite Peace Allah
     
  3. LindaChavis

    LindaChavis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    In my view

    that person is not worth your time. You need to heal yourself from what ever feelings you have for that person and let someone worthy come into your life. That person aint it.
     
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