Black Relationships : True or false. Dudes must go thru a "playa" stage and females must go thru a....

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Dany_Bill, Jul 16, 2007.

  1. Dany_Bill

    Dany_Bill Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    True or false. Dudes must go thru a "playa" stage and females must go thru a "hoochie" stage.

    A "playa" stage meaning that man must go through a stage where he can have alot of female options. Usually in his 20's.

    A "hoochie" stage is where women know they are desirable and do things to attract attention. Usually happens in the 20's too.

    If people dont go thru or complete this stage they will repeat it sometime later on in life, hence the "hot mamas" in the clubs and older cats trying to look young. A so called midlife crisis.

    Agree or disagree? Comments?
     
  2. MiztikalDreams

    MiztikalDreams Member MEMBER

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    Disagree to the fullest! In my honest opinion men and women alike go thru these stages because they don't know any better.
     
  3. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    i disagree

    all what you mentioned is actually anti-family

    now you do need experience in relations but you don't have to be a playa or

    hoochie to get that

    and most of listen and learn how to please you partner

    i mean when i was young young i listened, read, and talked to older people

    and that helped me build my confidence without having to be a dog about it

    peace
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I humblely disagree , when u see young men on this playa type thing
    they out to prove only to themselves through a foolish mindset that they
    are a playa ........one whom can get women at one time beyond da scars
    they may bring ......no such as a playa stage only to folks who think it's so
    often in da days before a playa was only called such for his controlling of
    women who lay for pay and give it away .....pimp is a playa !

    hoochie mama ......no more then a young lady hot and sassy smelling there own
    panties trying to catch every man coming along da way these women also do this
    for attention and out of lonelyness or stupidity another foolish act

    Even so most know better but refuse to accept the truth so they turn to the silly
    way of thinking and wanna rule , there seem to be lack of home trainning ........

    the stage of life just don't have a playa or a hoochie in plan no more then man made
    set ups of beliefs

    the stage is set for the truth
     
  5. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hoochie and a playa?
    I'd rather you called both of them playa's.
    Honestly they are not born this way.
    Most of the time people date alot to see what's out there.
    Some have been hurt and the only way to not become attached is to not stay around long enough to become that way.
    There is nothing wrong with dating many people.
    People should always be honest when dating several people at once.
     
  6. I-khan

    I-khan Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    depends solely of your definition of a playa and a "hoochie"

    The current media concoted definition of a playa is a person who tells lies to get what they want, this is not true as I was told by some older (elderly) folks...people who do lie and such have no confidence and are dangerous.

    any dummy with a brain can tell a lie, but it takes a real man/woman to be honest and fair...to quote a relative,they are called 'playas' because they have assets others want and they know how to safely guard themselves from bs while holding on to their integrity...in essence, they know how to play the games people play,hence, a playa.

    as I was told a real playa is not deceptive but knows how to keep from being decieved, as well as what to say and when to say it, for the betterment of the situation......one result is alot of attention from the opposite sex which may result in sex but not always,since a 'playa' as I was told does not hold sex on a high pedestal,like a BUSTER( kats who claim to be playas)

    for the ladies it could be a bit different, reading 'hoochie' you may interpret it as a reckless chick w/ no morals,etc.that type of female to me is just a female version of a buster. Recently there was a fine young woman on campus who got alot of male attention, which was unwanted. alot guys my age say some stupid ish when it comes to talking to an intelligient woman, and she brushed them off.Another group of girls who saw all of this verbally bashed this conservative-dressed woman.The busters were hating on a female playa. another thing I noticed is the competition some have between each other, for example, I was in the grocery store talking to a fine dark chocolate sista after a 'red-bone' finished giving me the 'eye' and she saw us talking, the look on her face was sadness mixed with anger,she rolled her eyes and walked off.

    all of this applies to 'casual dating' in whatever from you see it in,but as an uncle told me, when people want to get 'serious' they may want to keep it to themselves and screen their potential partners in different ways according to different standards.



    good, true in many cases, wrong in some, but hey micheal jackson did not have a childhood and look how he turned out........personally I can see how this fits into some folks lives,it may also depend on the culture you live in, this seems to strictly apply to 'western consumer culture' if such a thing exists

    peace.
     
  7. GOODYMAN

    GOODYMAN Active Member MEMBER

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  8. davidee

    davidee New Member MEMBER

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    Black Relationships

    Disagree extensively. This "playa" and "hoochie" phase is self inventive and nonsense. Young males who wish to have "lots" of females is a self esteem issue. There is nothing very wrong with women desiring attention depending on how the attention is projected and received. The (women) should know some what of how men in general react to types of female attention getting techniques. This is destinctive of the maturer men and women who strive to remain mentally young by being in places where younger people frequent to feel desired, if possible.
     
  9. Nasheed

    Nasheed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Disagree. These so-called stages only happen because this is a learned behaviour,pssed on frm generation to generation
     
  10. A007

    A007 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It is personal

    It may seem that way because when men and women are in there 20's they are dating and not seeking to commit. I do think it is necessary for us to be single and responsible for ourselves AS ADULTS before we settle down. I would not necessarily call that being a playa for a man or a hoochie for a woman.

    As for those with the views about low self-esteem, learned behaviour, and other ridiculous claims about men who have many women when they are in their 20's I say this: YOU ARE DEAD WRONG! It was simply a choice for some of us.

    See Thread "Young and Sexually Free"
     
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