Poetry Critiques : Torn

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by FloReal916, Jun 1, 2005.

  1. FloReal916

    FloReal916 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Somebody told me that it’s impossible to love two men at the same time,
    see I used to quote this same line
    until I found myself… in… this… predicament
    I was just deeming our time well spent
    as just the start of a beautiful friendship
    Because when we met I understood you had a woman
    and I had a man and our plan… was to keep it platonic
    But isn’t it Ironic that we vibe so well,
    & all of our friends & strangers can even tell,
    that it’s a strong chemistry there, and I… wouldn’t dare engage in infidelity, but your intellect towers over me,
    because when I see you, I see a blank page ready for me to lick poetry all over you
    And purely friends was not the thought in my mind when I imagined us kissing or... reminiscing about what the potentials might be...
    If your girlfriend didn't exist- in your head constantly or in your bed is where I would be… letting your manhood consume my body
    When you slightly touch my hand… for the moment my man
    is no longer part of my plan… Please understand that I am in love with you from the innermost part of my soul
    So it’s hard for me to sit back and try not to react to the feelings trying to unfold, excuse me if my thoughts are too bold!
    But they’re truthful… Now on the other hand, I’m in love with my man and dream of us one day being fruitful.
    Having babies and growing old like our grandparents do, because my heart was held captive the day I met you!
    Before then it was shut down from my first love stomping it to the ground but somehow…you managed to break through!
    But this friend of mine broke in too!
    When we make love…not only do our bodies fit like a glove
    But you send me into a state of convulsion;
    followed by a massive explosion & concluded with a soft sweet tender hug with him I too am so in love………& You listening to this poem are probably being so shallow as to think that “ If I really loved my man…
    then I couldn’t love another, but until you have been in this situation
    don’t judge this book by its cover
    because truthfully it’s hard for me… I sit back and wonder why one man can’t possess all these qualities! See my man lacks nothing & gives me everything I need
    but my friend…well he brings out the best in me!
    So what’s a woman to do? …. Choose? No cause in the end
    If I choose, then I’ll be forced to lose…
    So I won’t… but I will remain torn and just pray that one day God gives me strength to break away without being scorned.
    You probably thought this poem was going to end with a cure or a solution to what I should do…
    Well there is none… the fact of the matter is...
    I’m in love with my man… and in love with my friend too
     
  2. FloReal916

    FloReal916 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I need ya

    What's up fam I just wanted to say that I just wrote this piece yesterday, and I wrote it based on my feelings of the moment! I'm so on stuck ya'll, no joke, please pray for me!!

    Flo- Real
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    this poem read like a open book yet felt and heard
    from the body contents ........flow on vent & express self
     
  4. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Flow real Flo-Real,

    Are you for real...

    Is it two times love you feel

    Selfishly,

    In love with two

    Which one shares their heart with you?
     
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