Torn a Bit

Discussion in 'Black Teenagers - Teenz Exprezzed!' started by ebonygoddess, Mar 30, 2005.

  1. ebonygoddess

    ebonygoddess Active Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2003
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ratings:
    +1
    It pains me to write this but I am to confused and need help. I vowed never to let i guy get in my head but it has happened. I hate having guy problems because it seem so cliche for my age group but, i do. To the point, there is this guy i knew for practical my entire life. We attended the same church. We always aquantinces but until 4 years ago he started taking an interest in me. I didn't take him to serious because i really didn't have time to add stress to my truck load of school work and my job. But last two years we started talking, and a voice in my head was whispering to me that he's a dog. i liked him but i couldnt blind myself from his doggish ways and obvious disrespect to me. So i banned him, and that ended on horrible terms. Up until New Years this year I decided to unburden my heart and i became acquantince with him again. But he is constantly apoligizing and telling me how much he likes me and missed me. And i don't know what to beilieve. i still have reserved feelings for him but i don't want to put myself out for hurt. u know what they say "a person try u once, shame on them, you let them do it again, shame on you". I just need a bit of guidance. Thank you.
     
  2. Ledda

    Ledda Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2005
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    4
    Ratings:
    +4
    We've all been in this position, girl. If he disrespests you, respect yourself more and refuse to allow anyone to treat you in a way you don't deserve. Get out wiht your girls and family. Get in touch with who you are and what you want in life. If he's sincere and has changed give him another try, but if not my grandma always used to say, "When they made him they made some more, and it's gone be alright." Be patient. Once you find what's right for you and what keeps you happy, you'll wonder why you were even stressing.

    Ledda
     
  3. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2003
    Messages:
    1,818
    Likes Received:
    137
    Occupation:
    Operations Manager
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Ratings:
    +137
    Hi ebonygoddess


    I have one question for you, in your long relationship with this young man when were you two the happiest with eachother? Think about that question for a minute. It is not uncommon for good friends of the opposite sex to intensify their relationship. In my experience with these matters usually the friends that end up doing this end on bad terms and the friendship becomes severely damaged. See what friend have is unconditional love between eachother. This means they love eachother enough to care about there well being, their successes, their is support during failures, their are fun times and sad times as well. There are no conditions like the relationship lovers may have. As a young person it is easy to confuse this love and make it into something it was never meant be. So it comes back to my original question. If you were happiest when you were friends with that young man then may be that's what you two should remain. You two will have your share of lovers and acquaintences in your life but friendship is a special thing. Just some thoughts.


    Peace
     
  4. ebonygoddess

    ebonygoddess Active Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2003
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ratings:
    +1
    :thanks: Thank you both for your thoughtful words of encouragement and suggestions. It really helped a bit. and Radical faith you made me think a bit. I never really had a friendship with him, it was just a "hi and bye" and then we suddenly click we didn't build that friendship foundation. But I was happy when he didn't start acting up. and now hes back to the sweet person i got to know. but i don't know how easily he can revert back to "Dr. Evil". i don't know if i want ot open my self up for that kind of hurt.
     
  5. Intrepid

    Intrepid Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2005
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    3
    Occupation:
    Adminstrative Assistant
    Location:
    Somewhere in this wonderful place we call the worl
    Ratings:
    +3
    I have to agree with Radical Faith all the way.
    When the lines of freindship are crossed and you become lovers EVERYTHING changes including the friendship which is usually destroyed.
    Listen to Radical Faith and listen good.
     
  6. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,578
    Likes Received:
    19
    Ratings:
    +19
    There is no shame in asking for advice.

    As far as my opinion on the issue, I think you need to follow your heart. If you have a feeling that he's a dog, then you're probably right. This is even more the case if he's actually done something to prove your theories true.

    Don't waste your time with a loser, especially being so young. Making bad decisions with your love life will haunt you forever.
     
  7. ebonygoddess

    ebonygoddess Active Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2003
    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    1
    Ratings:
    +1
    Thank you so much my sisters!! you all have been a real help. Although i haven't yet made my decision, you put my mind at ease. You sisters made me comfortable, especially for the fact that this was kind of embarassing to write. You are the sisters i never had. Thank you! :grouphug:
     
  8. Lloyd

    Lloyd Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 29, 2004
    Messages:
    414
    Likes Received:
    3
    Ratings:
    +4
    First-of-all

    I can ensure that it ain't easy to talk about such a problem when in your mind you already THINK that you have the right solution though your body is against it!!!What i can tell you is that as sure as itz not possible to make a person feels what you feel just by writing,it can't be possible to anyone to say "you should leave him" or "give him a second chance" because you can regret after!!!
    I want you to take a time and be TOTALY honnest with yourself!Locked up yourself in your bedroom,write down what you like and what you dislike in this guy!!!Then try to compare and base your future behaviour on it!If till this moment your heart isn't decided,then close your eyes and try to hear what your heart says to you!The answer is within you.Now that it's summer time,you'll be free
     
  9. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,926
    Likes Received:
    47
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Local Insurance Agent
    Location:
    Virginia Beach,Va
    Ratings:
    +47
    ITS SIMPLE...

    DONT GO THERE! :rolleyes:
     
Loading...