Black Relationships : Top Ten Things "Not To Do" In Your Relationship

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Feather, Sep 6, 2011.

  1. Feather

    Feather Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What are the top ten things in your opinion women/men do in their relationship that get on your nerves or cause discord? No punches below the belt people ;) lets be mature I want to know the mature perspective not the boy girl ones.

    For me they are...

    #1. Leaving at night frequently to hang out with friends.
    2. Keeping company with people with bad character and allowing them in the home.

    3. Inviting unannounced guests in the house.
    4. Disregard for my efforts to keep my home tidy.

    5. Showing interest in other females.

    6. Not confronting disagreements respectfully, but dismissing my concerns, making me seem like a trouble maker.
    7. Not confessing but justifying clear error.

    8. Being inconsiderate (i.e. If you know someone expects you be there or call)

    9. Baseless assumptions

    10. Not confident of my loyalty and devotion.









     
  2. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Inconsiderate is the sum of what you said...

    But anyways

    I have 2....Dishonesty and lack of communication.
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    shouldn't this be in the relationships section?
     
  4. kde

    kde Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Those are good "not to dos," and I'd think they apply in a marriage as well as a committed relationship. The brunt of most marital conflicts seem to revolve around parenting and finances. In my marriage, I know I start to act a little funky if too much time has gone by and my husband and I haven't had adequate time alone (without the kids) in a while.

    These are a few of the to-dos I try to live by consciously, especially whenever challenges strike:
    1) Be thankful.
    2) Remember how far we've come, all the way back to when we met.
    3) Realize how minimal today's tests are in the grand scheme of life.

    In general, being communicative and respectfully honest go a long way. So does not taking each other for granted, which becomes easier to do the longer you're together. Fundamentally, solid relationships are about living according to the golden rule, which can be oh so hard to do sometimes!
     
  5. Feather

    Feather Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    "Inconsiderate is the sum of what you said..."...thats your perspective sis, my notations are with good reason. It is the way I feel.. I did forget dishonesty...:)
     
  6. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    She's new James, be patient
     
  7. Feather

    Feather Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lol leave it to you to say something like that, its general so I posted it here lol why didnt you just contribute more than your two cents grandpa james ;)
     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i never did none of that stuff……i can't speak on it
     
  9. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    my top 2 are:
    1) not showing consideration for the things i do...
    2) excessive rah rah's...(drama) when the situation can be handled with a convo....

    one love
    khasm
     
  10. Feather

    Feather Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree...I assumed people would be on the same financial goal page, budget etc but that's a tough one. In Islam it was easy, a man is responsible for the household and any money a woman earns is her own which she doesn't have to spend on her necessities, he has to provide for her. Honestly I think it is the best way, is my opinion provided the woman is sensible and not a materialistic person and is always buying something or saying she needs something when she doesn't and could truly do without.
     
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