Black Spirituality Religion : Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

Discussion in 'Black Spirituality / Religion - General Discussion' started by river, May 21, 2006.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    To avoid controversy I thought I'd put this in the joke section. don't take it seriously

    10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

    9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

    8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

    7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

    6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

    5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

    4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


    3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

    2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

    1 - You actually know a lot less than many nonchristianss do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
     
  2. kemetkind

    kemetkind Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wasn't really funny.

    We serve as better examples for our beliefs when we spend more time living and expressing them than time wasted denigrating the beliefs of others.
     
  3. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    when those others tell the world that their god is the only true god and everyone who doesn't believe what they believe is a hell-bound sinner it is not only my right but my responisibility to expose the fallacies in such a belief. The very idea of christianity as a personal belief totally ignores history. For two thousand years they have violently forced others to believe what they believe but now when we see their belief is false suddenly it's personal.
     
  4. uplift19

    uplift19 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm normally up for a good debate on these topics, but I'd have to agree with kemetkind that I didn't find it funny. These statements just didn't hit me that way, as it's almost an atheist view against all religions. It reminded me very much of Bill Maher (he's a comedian on HBO who is a proud atheist, liberal, 1/2 jew). Very smug, and not very understanding.

    I think it may have been better suited for the Spirituality forum...I don't know
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Maybe, sista. I just found these things to be so true but I certainly don't advocate atheism.
     
  6. sweet apple*pie

    sweet apple*pie Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    River,
    With all due respect, religion is a very sensitive subject with most, and to make jokes about about someone's personal faith's or beliefs for any reason, just aint cool......when it comes to religion, it is important to tread lightly. To me, criticizing someone's faith, is worse that criticizing a persons skin color, because THEN it becomes personal.....
     
  7. Slowly

    Slowly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A lot of that would be funny if it was based on Bibical truths.
     
  8. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister I didn't find this funny in the since of humor but in satire of sarcasm. What I did find it to be is true. (Well, accept about prayer) The truth only hurts the guilty...When I say prayer I don't mean frivelous prayers like "Oh Lord if I could just hit the lottery my troubles would be over". Heard of people hitting the lottery and I've heard testimony of financial blessings. I have never heard anyone say they prayed to hit the lottery and that prayer was answered...
    Keep crackin and we will keep listening...


    Peace....
     
  9. uplift19

    uplift19 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, you'd find many atheists that would see these things as "so true" and a good reason not to believe in anything.

    This could easily be flipped so you wouldn't find it as funny....

    10 - You vigorously deny the existence of One God claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your thousands of gods.

    8 - You laugh at people who believe in a Triune God, but have no problem being a polytheist.

    ...etc. etc.

    The bottom line is, there is plenty of fodder to make mockery of all religions and spiritual systems, but to what end? To offend or enlighten?

    A wise man once said that truth out of season is worse than a lie.

    peace
     
  10. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It was not funny and maybe sistah river didn't mean any harm either.
     
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