Black Relationships : Top Choice for Mainstream African-American Men.

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by dustyelbow, Jun 21, 2006.

  1. dustyelbow

    dustyelbow Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Is the Size of Beauty Changing in the African American Community?



    “No one wants a bone but a dog” is an old-school saying in the African American community that affirms the traditional approval of full-figured women by black men.

    It’s true. There are scores of guys of all races who prefer big women and choose them in the same way others favor blonds. Anecdotally speaking, a voluptuous woman could represent the ideal mother/lover image for men like Ron, a fifty-three-year-old special education teacher who “never dates a woman under a size 12” who has “food issues” and “does not like to eat.”

    Many men associate a woman who has a passion for food with someone who is highly sexual and likes to cook. Other guys admit to being attracted to the body type they are most familiar with from their family of sisters and a mother who are big-boned and fleshy.

    Jerome, a middle-aged African American grocery clerk who has dated large women his entire life, buys into the notion that “big women are easier. They don’t expect much and if they reject a brother, he does not feel as bad as if a skinny woman disses him. “And in bed,” Jerome laughs “there is more ‘pushin’ with the cushion’” Besides, Jerome said that in his experience “little women are evil.”

    A recent study published in the 'Journal Of Black Studies' reports that one size does not fit all when it comes to the size of beauty in the black community. In a 2004, report titled African American Men’s Perception of Body Figure Attractiveness by Tammy T. Webb, E. Joan Looby, and Regina Fults-McMurtery, the researchers found that African American men with more mainstream values, perceived women with smaller body figures as more attractive than women with a larger body figures. This is in stark contrast to the long-held belief all black American men prefer thick women. The writers of the 2004 report attribute the influence of movies, videos, magazine and video games to the changing tastes of who is considered beautiful by African American men.

    Still, men like Ron and Jerome and many others continue to date and marry full-figured girls. And according to Stephanie, a single mother and full-time student who lost over one hundred pounds after a gastric bypass operation, there is a world of difference between men like Ron and Jerome who love and appreciates big women and so-called “chubby chasers.”

    The latter are men with a fetish, obsessed with fatty flesh, believes Elizabeth, a full-figured graphic designer, “I call those guys ‘vultures,’ Elizabeth said. “They find and exploit [a woman] they think may have low self-esteem because of her size. Chubby chasers really don’t like themselves and come to us figuring we must also feel bad about ourselves too. They think we’ll be a perfect match.”

    Stephanie agrees. “Chasers are losers, weirdos, outcasts, secretly gay or bisexual, too short, or otherwise physically unattractive.

    “Especially the guys who troll the Internet chat rooms and place personal ads,” Stephanie rolls her eyes. “Those are the kinds of guys who are really looking for weak women to play ‘mama’ to them.”

    Chubby chasers may be desperately seeking women to support them and forgive them their infidelities and other faults in the same way that they might seek approval from an understanding parent. Chubby chasers are often in search of a woman with a big body and a big heart to match. Stephanie remembers encountering lots of men during her super-sized days who were “closet chubby chasers”--guys who wanted to be seen in public with a slender girl, but, when they got home, they wanted to “do it” with a fat girl.”

    An executive booking manager for a Los Angeles-area speakers’ bureau, Juanita describes herself as large and lovely and “a player in the dating scene.” She does not see herself as anyone’s wife--ever. “There are lots of men who like me because I am a big woman,” Juanita says. “I have never had a problem with men not liking me because of my weight; my personality shines. And men always comment on my pretty eyes. Obviously they admire the essence of me. They also like my other body parts too.”

    ###

    Robyn McGee, M.A.
    California State University, Dominguez Hills
    Women's Resource Center
    1000 E. Victoria Street Carson, CA 90747
    (310) 243-2486 [email protected]

    Robyn McGee
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    IMAGE is EVERYTHING.
     
  2. Omowale Jabali

    Omowale Jabali The Cosmic Journeyman PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Why is it assumed that the changing tastes of "Afriican-American" men has to do with influence from the corporate media?

    Perhaps this is true. However, as more Black men decide to focus on following health and fitness programs with stricter diets to make fundamental changes in health maintenance most likely this will also lead to lifestyle changes and choosing women who likewise have an interest in health and fitness.
     
  3. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    But Brother O, aren't you making a dangerous assumption that Black women who are "thick" can't be healthy and fit at the same time? I didn't get the impression that the article was talking about women who are obese and to me, there's a huge difference between the two. There's nothing wrong with a man who is health conscious wanting a woman who is health conscious too. But the point I want to make is, you don't have to be a bone to be healthy and in fact, with all the publicity in the past 10-15 years around anorexia and bulimia among mostly white women who are willing to die simply to be thin, why would Black men want Black women who are that shallow and vain--not to mention mentally ill?

    If what is said in the article is true that more Black men today are changing their views of "beauty" when it comes to Black women, I tend to agree that it's because of the media hype and how they see women portrayed by the media moreso than Black men simply wanting women who are healthier and physically fit. I think it's gender bias as opposed to more Black men becoming health conscious. Once again, it's same ole racist machinery at work on the minds of our people...whites being compared to and preferred over Blacks in terms of looks that are said to be more appealing. For you personally, it may be about a health issue, but I hardly think that the majority of Black men, especially in the younger generation, would agree with you.

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  4. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Walking through the streets of New York City, Jersey City, and Newark I see all sizes, shapes, and complexions of black women walking arm in arm with black men....that is how it should be.
     
  5. Omowale Jabali

    Omowale Jabali The Cosmic Journeyman PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I am not making an assumption concerning Black women but speaking to possible resons why SOME Black MEN may choose women who are not "thick".

    "For you personally, it may be about a health issue, but I hardly think that the majority of Black men, especially in the younger generation, would agree with you."

    Again, this is why I must emphasize SOME and do not profess to speak for "All Black men", "Most Black men" or "younger Black men".

    I can only go by my own lifestyles changes I have made in that lifestyle, and people whom I personally interact with on a daily basis and at the age of 48 I work to improve my physical conditioning, weightlifting, playing basketball, cycling, swimming, and when I can find a good partner palying tennis and golf. I do one or a number of these activities on any given day when I am not on the internet, cooking or doing yardwork or other home maintenance/improvement.

    Again, what you percieve from me being "stereotypical" or "media driven" I typically go off not what I see or hear in the media but my own interaction and from discussions I have with my sister who is a health professional and by my personal trainers, physicians and nutritionists. And as a result, I have been able to extend my lifespan without medication desopite overwhelming genetic factors which have taken so many relatives before me, both younger and older than myself.

    I have openly stated more than once that I have dated "all types" but must admit that I increasingly have a personal preference for someone that has similar state of mind concerning exercise and fitness standards and similar dietary habits. Otherwise, at this point, we are incompatable, plain and simple.

    jmho,
    Omowale.
     
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