Black Jokes Humor : Toodler Rules...

Discussion in 'Black Jokes Humor' started by dstny, Aug 17, 2005.

  1. dstny

    dstny Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If it is on, I must turn it off.
    If it is off, I must turn it on.
    If it is folded, I must unfold it.
    If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
    If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
    If it is high, it must be reached.
    If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
    If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
    If it has leaves, they must be picked.
    If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
    If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
    If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown
    on the floor.
    If it is closed, it must be opened.
    If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
    If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
    If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor,
    or table.
    If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
    If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
    If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
    If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in
    without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
    If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
    If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried.
    If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
    If it is paper, it must be torn.
    If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
    If the volume is low, it must go high.
    If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
    If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
    If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
    If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
    If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
    If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
    If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
    If it is not food, it must be tasted.
    If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
    If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
    If it is a carseat, it must be protested with arched back.
    If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.
    I am toddler!
    :baby:
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My daughter follows those rules to the letter!
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    With the patience of Job, ya gotta love em, lol.
     
  4. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can relate to these and about 50-11 more, to say the least...smh :laugh:
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    lol...............sound like my little one she really stay within the guide lines here.
    whewwwwww i can sho nuff relate
     
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