Black Poetry : Too painful to edit/finish still

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Randee, Aug 1, 2003.

  1. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Finished???

    Have you explained to your eight year old why
    I am no longer there?
    Why her once Home has been reduced to a house,
    and why her father is a no good louse?
    Have you explained to your daughter
    how you beat someone elses child?
    Have you told her how after raising and loving you both for six years
    you tore me apart, raised your fists to me and brought me to tears.
    She saw the police car pull up
    (an escort into my own house?)
    Alarmed, they looked at me, I wasn't taking "my" child too.
    With tears in my eyes I had to explain that legally she only belonged to you.
    If your aim was to hurt me,
    punching me would do,
    why don't you choke me like last time,
    that seemed to pull you through.
    But, remove her from my life,
    Because I won't stay in our hell and play your wife?
    I knew leaving you would be hard
    But I didn't think it would be her fortune you would willingly discard
    All out of spite, anger and bitter resentment.
    Be careful with her, you'll breed contentment.
    Her and I feel eachother
    as close as a "mother" and child could be
    for six years I took care of her before you put your hands on me
    and now look at what she has to see
    me, packing bags with tears in my eyes
    not crying over you and your endless lies
    but whats going to happen to her when she cries
    who will be there to hold her hand and rub her back
    what will happen if there are things she lacks.

    And six months later she's back.
    He can't manage and I am glad for that fact.
    She looks okay (as i recount toes and fingers)
    my thoughts continue to linger.
    what if he wants to take her back in a year or two
    the courts won't assist, lawyers won't do
    don't think i haven't considered running away
    packing her up and fleeing astray
    making her change her name
    pretending that this is all a game
    but now I am thinking about my belly and my own little guy
    with two ragged breaths i begin to cry
    this life I lead does not seems fair
    especially when all i've done for her is care
    i know the truth, she will stay with me until he decides
    how his and her life can coincide
    in the meantime it is me who will provide.
    Controlling my life with hers again, using her like a pawn
    but i will be here for her for a million dawns
    so as i run my hands through her new homemade curls
    i let her know i will be her for her whenever life unfurls.



    :(
     
  2. PlayWitItPimp05

    PlayWitItPimp05 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is a very powerful message!! I hope you find the strength to finish it, or maybe hear you speak on another topic.

    And by the way,

    Welcome to Destee's!!

    :wave: :wave: :party: :kiss: :star: :rolling: :star: :kiss: :party: :wave: :wave:

    D's is the place to be!!

    :heart: :heart: PLAY :heart: :heart:
     
  3. blaquebutterfli

    blaquebutterfli Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Welcome to Destee!
    That is truly too powerful and valid for you not to finish. My prayers are for the time when you will be able to finish it. Stay strong. You are not alone.
    :grouphug:
     
  4. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    PlayWitItPimp - I am in a healing process so you can count on reading tons more.

    Blaquebutterfli - Thanks for understanding, everytime I think about it I break down, too real still. Thanks though.
     
  5. cocobutterskyn

    cocobutterskyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A very heartfelt piece that will finish with a happy verse.

    Have faith you and your child will be together again.

    Welcome to Destee's :)

    feelin'it souldeep!
    Coco :heart:
     
  6. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    [email protected], i felt that...
    i wish you true and complete healing
    from that beast's double dealing...
    pray and it will be delivered...
    btw...tyte scribe
    peace
    khasm
     
  7. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the words everyone.
     
  8. LovelyGoldenOne

    LovelyGoldenOne Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this was so heartfelt...very nice...
     
  9. Alizentang

    Alizentang Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :jawdrop:I just got chills up my spine!!!!!:jawdrop:

    This was powerful, deep, beautiful, WHOA!

    I'm usually not speachless, but this one did it to me.

    When you find the strength to finish this one make sure to let me know.

    Much love and many blessings on your house!!
    :heart:Alize:heart:
     
  10. Jazz4u

    Jazz4u Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i know what this is
    i've held my mother after beatings
    cried with her until tears became prescibed sleeping pills
    i've heard only one thing that screamed louder than she did
    a daddy's girl that called on sirens
    i knew this reality as a gun knew my temple
    it was going to kill me
    until she said
    enough
    and without knowing
    saved me

    i understand this all to well and if i really want to be honest she divorced my father to marry another man that "thought" he'd try the same thing
     
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