To Spank or Not To Spank

$$RICH$$ said:
indeed very well said i truely agree and i too
didn't have to spank my kids like a daily meal
only when needed my son is 11 and had 3 spanking from
me in his young life but i will bare down when needed
so far he's a good child to be a boy growing up in the
heart of the Gangs & Drugs so i think the few spankings
did him good i just pray he continue his good ways and
stay on the path of GOD

I still don't agree with this spanking issue.
It never surprises me how people still don't think outside the cube. We live in a society where people wonder why there isn't more peace in this world. A society where we preach diplomacy over brute force. I've learned however to never to underestimate human hypocrisy. If we cannot communicate with people (our kids) on the very early level of development without using brute force then what does that say about us as a people. If you cannot communicate effectively on the basic social level ie. your family at home then how can you communicate with your fellow workers.

To put it plain and simple, it's basic microcasm and macrocasm. Don't be upset when children.. that eventually become adults... deal with discipline and frustration through violence. I can't speak for everyone, however I do know that I want optimum for my children. I'd rather prepare them with all the tools for combat and preparation in this world as possible. Whatever tools they choose or don't choose is up to them. We are affected by our environment. So I choose to raise my children in one that is free from gun play and violence. I know it is difficult to shield them from everything, but if I can put them one step ahead of the game.. then that increases their options of becoming even greater people.
 
I really don't think you are thinking outside of your cube. For the most part, I believe each and every individual on earth will always have similar experiences with varying outcomes. Everyone who is spanked will not join a gang or become a serial killer. You don't have to agree with what I do in my home because you do not live here. In my opinion, there are levels of discipline starting with my house rules, to reminders, to discussions, to restrictions, and lastly the belt. If you're able to keep your child in check without a spanking for his entire time living under your roof - GREAT!

My daughter has a friend who lives around the corner. He can't stay in school to save his life because his mother doesn't believe in spankings...and no one other than her can discipline her child. He doesn't seem to think he has to listen to anyone because there are NO CONSEQUENCES. He minds her, but no one else. He cant even attend public schools anymore, at least none in our district and it's not because he is violent, he simply feels his mother can shield him from rules. She won't spank her kids...but someone is waiting to beat this kids tail cause he will not yield to rules or regulations outside of the home. I think he'll end up in jail- and what a rude awakening that will be when he is grown and realizes in real life there are consequences for not abiding by rules...but of course that is my opinion.

In short, to each his own. I've never spanked my daughter while angry like you assume WE ALL DO. It's always been discussed, she knew what to expect because she surpassed all the levels of discipline. That is simply life.
 
CarrieMonet said:

In short, to each his own. I've never spanked my daughter while angry like you assume WE ALL DO. It's always been discussed, she knew what to expect because she surpassed all the levels of discipline. That is simply life.

Very well put. I don't ASSUME that anyone on here spanks their children. I'm just going on by what people here have posted. What you do in your own home is your business. I do believe in consequences for actions. Children must be disciplined. Parents need to have a plan for their children in life or society will plan their child's life for them (ie. criminal justice system).

The child of the parent you mentioned isn't taught to respect anyone but their own mother. Spankings don't make a child necessarily respect anyone. That's something that has to be taught and supported first in the home.

Whatever methods a parent uses for disciplining is up to them. In learning how to be a better parent I often like to try to find methods that will work that will help make my child a well rounded individual. Challenging some older and conventional ways are necessary. I look at this issue the same way I look at healthcare. If my parents fed me certain foods, that were fatty or not good for my optimum health which predisposed me to diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease, this dosen't mean that they meant to kill me. The fact that you grew up and it didn't have any visible affect on you (until you met your senior age) still dosent' negate that it was overall harmful to your health.

Certain behaviors, dietary or others may be generational however I feel that some of it has to be questioned to promote our overall and future health.
 
i feel everyone point but that's how it is
this don't mean you are being abusive
just laying some belt to their behind
i am very happy you can raise your children in a gun free
place but all of us not so lucky so we just teach and pray
hope to live another day and our children do become very
well off young men & women
job & home have no connections when it come to children
i am happy my parents spanked me it made me a better man
a better person a more understand kind heart i'm doing just
great from it and i have no marks to sho i was ever hit
but i feel you on your way of thinking .......now feel mines
because i disagree
 
What is spanking anyway?

Man, when I first saw this thread “To Spank or Not To Spank” in the "RELATIONSHIP FORUM"!! :eeek: :eeek: ...and sister NNQueen's, name as the thread’s originator :confused: ...??????

I just...couldn't believ... "I just" :jawdrop:

Then it made me scratch my beard and go h-mmm_mmm. :confused:

Sister Queeenie sort of gettin’ deeper than deep here...

Thank god, I quickly clicked on the link and started reading. :lol:



seriously though :)


Peace Sister Queenie :wave: and again seriously,

I think raising and rearing children is probably one the most challenging experiences any adult can take on. On one-side it’s not this suffocating and impoverishing vortex that some people want to make it, for a lot of our problems with being parents is based on a lack of knowledge and wisdom. But, on the other side there are a lot of balancing acts and hard decisions that have to be considered. This spanking question has never been a great debate in our community, even though it may be a legitimate one.

One thing, I have always been concerned about, is that, when we remove certain ideas and beliefs of yesterday, are we always prepared to replace them with cultural mores or religious ethics that are as effective or more effective than what has been removed.

It’s like the old adage referring to “throwing the baby out, with the bath water”.

When spanking was a predominant form of punishment in the African American community, it ranged from the sensible type of correction, with a lot of discussion (usually mama preachin’ alot___lol) to the extremes, of years ago, when this culture thought is was allowable for men to spank their wives.

I always find it amazing that we believe it’s all right for the authorities to lay hands on “truly “ unruly individuals, in order to subdue that person, if they are endangering a citizen or encroaching upon someone else’s civil rights, but we believe we should have a hands-free and defenseless approach to our children.

The worst thing in the to world is to watch a child, run over the authority and respect of their parents. I am especially sensitive to this, when it comes to single moms and their male-children.

"Some" of our young men and now young women are running into the jaws of danger and death, at full speed. And their disrespect for their elders, their selves, each other and the world around them, is at an all time high. Believe me, I don’t think it’s because of too few or too many spankings. It’s just a lack of discipline, correction and direction.

And before the outside world, starts an even more vicious disciplinary campaign on our children; we need to circumvent our children undisciplined and dangerous actions, “BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.”

Some of us may, go as far as spanking our children, but the world is killing them and many of them are destroying each other.

Peace,

Brother Sun Ship
 

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