Black Relationships : to all the brothas....

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by nevar, Dec 5, 2005.

  1. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    to all the brothas i want to know why is it so hard for ya'll to express yourselves. i'll tell my man everything but he won't open up to me. why us women love hard and ya'll cant. but can tell you anything when it comes to sex. yeah its fine for that but i really want to know whats going on with you.
    can you tell me why ya'll are afraid to pour your soul to a woman. holla at me.
     
  2. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Personally .......I can't and won't because the women who I did that with showed me that it ain't the way to go........and at that time I was a younger man not as jaded and pessimistic as I am now......and at this point in life a woman will only know what I want her to know or what I feel I'm safe letting her know..but that opening up completely...nah ain't happening....some of them doors are locked and are staying that way.......

    Another issue I have is I look at most women I meet and have met as an older man as being temporary so why would I tell them my inner thoughts, my dreams , my fears....or pour out my soul as you say....I don't put rims on a rental...and I admit that's not the way we should look at relationships and such but prior experience is a mutha.........if everytime you walk to the store them boys on the corner give you a beat down at some point your're either going to stop going to that store or take a completely different way.....I stopped going to that store... :)


    MississippiRed
     
  3. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think ultimately this is a question that only one man can answer. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, it sustains couples long after physical attraction ceases to impress. Despite this reality, I never cease to be amazed at the number of people who say they aren't able to talk with their so called partner. I believe that some guys are simply not good at being able to articulate their feelings. Others are not willing to do so. If a man is able to tell you everything he needs in bed, but is unable to communicate in any other way. I'd say that he's focus on the relationship is different than yours. That being the case, you might want to re-evalute things.
     
  4. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    to mississippi red

    i think those women who didnt want a man with sensitivity is do-do. i dont want you to be talking to another woman bout the way you feel. that should be my job. i want to know where we stand instead of me just guessing all the [email protected] time. if you have a problem you should be able to tell me instead of having me going crazy. women can tell when somethings wrong with their men. its just urks me how he can tell me how he want it bed but cant tell me whats ailing him. frankly i think you need some southern love hahah. thanks for your input.:bellydance: :juggle: :geek:
     
  5. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    so what your saying you tell your significant other everything that you feel. yes communication is the key to a wonderful relationship. but i feel men just cant open up for macho reason. its not like i'm going to tell his boys your boy a wimp. i want 2 know what can i do to make it better. i cant save him all the time but i thought were suppose to be as one. you know two heads are better than one. holla at me pan you know i got you down in one of my future books ha ha ha.:bellydance: :shades: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     
  6. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Let me tell you a story Nevar. When I was in high school, I decided to buy a Valentine's day teddy bear for my then girlfriend. My mother was with me at the time. I picked up the bear (a $10 Walmart special), and began to walk to the checkout counter...then suddenly I began to get embarrassed. I asked my mother, "Could you buy this for me?" My mother asked me why, and I told her: "I'm too embarrased to buy this"! My mother responded, "If you are to embarrased to buy it, then you should be too embarrased to give it to your girlfriend. If that is the case don't get it at all".

    That taught me a lesson about being embarrased to do things which are pleasing to my woman, and I haven't had any issues like that since. You are a grown woman Nevar, and I assume your man is also grown. A grown man should not be afraid to express himself with his woman. Those types of issues he should've long since outgrown.
     
  7. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yes i'm grown but what does that have to do with anything. everyone as not as serious as you. so your saying that all grown men out there express themselves all the time. didnt you read mississippi comment.:wave: i want all the grown man to prove me wrong and that mines is just one out of the bunch.
     
  8. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No I'm not saying that all grown men express themselves. I'm saying that those who don't usually chose not to. It is a conscious choice. This choice can be because they aren't really feeling the woman they are with, or because displaying such behavior has resulted in undesirable consequences (as brother Red illustrated). Only that person knows their reason for not being able to communicate.
     
  9. Dual Karnayn

    Dual Karnayn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nevar

    I can't speak for other men, but I've learned growing up that often times when you allow your real feelings to be known and expressed...some people try to take advantage of you.
    It can also create tremendous problems for you in life.

    Most men learn this early in life and don't allow it.

    Imagine me telling my woman I was madly inlove with her sister....but I ain't planning on doing nothing with her.....lol.

    Think she'd just be impressed that I expressed my true feelings and move on?

    LMBAO!!
     
  10. Omowale Jabali

    Omowale Jabali The Cosmic Journeyman PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Over time I have learned that this approach does not work for me. I can't speak for any one else, but honesty has proven to be used against me. As much as I have been told in my lifetime "I love you" it has become cliche because rarely have those claims proven themselves capable of standing the test of time. It's not a matter of being afraid. Opening up just has not proven to be effective in establishing a long term relationship.
     
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