Poetry Critiques : TIME

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by LovesDestiny, Dec 11, 2007.

  1. LovesDestiny

    LovesDestiny Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    TIME

    I need time to decide what’s right for me
    I’ve fallen out of love and this woman is lazy
    I’m not even attracted to her sexually
    I need time to talk to God about what our future is to be

    I need time to think things all the way through
    Is this really the man I was supposed to commit my life to?
    He only uses the words “beautiful” and “sexy” when we’re doing the do
    I need time to figure out this person that I thought I knew

    I need time to figure out why I’ve fallen out of love
    She doesn’t respect my authority but blames me for everything she’s sick of
    Besides my beautiful children these past years of marriage have been like OJ’s glove
    I need time to figure out why our “fit” is not compatible

    I need time to pursue my own dreams
    I’m tired of putting his needs first while I’m busting at the seams
    With all my cries for help no one could ever really here my screams
    I need time to figure out who I am so I can begin to rebuild my self-esteem

    I found time to fall in love again
    She is everything I’ve dreamed of and so much different than the same
    Why couldn’t I have met her as a single man
    I found the woman that I want to spend my life loving through sunshine or rain

    I found time to trust in love once more
    He is everything I’ve dreamed of in a man and someone that I truly adore.
    I imagine this is how God intended true love to be enjoyed
    I found the man who I want to love all the way to the core

    We both know that love knows no distance, geography or zips
    But we have to allow for understanding and closure in our current relationships
    If we do things right our love will abound
    Because the intensity of our souls could never be suppressed in the love that we’ve found
     
  2. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I truly have no words but good one's for you because it was beautiful
    You Broke it Down Like it was a Break Dance........
    The Flows through His and Her Life times....which really apply and really need time to think to wonder to ponder where we are headed

    Aces up
    Ya just Struck Sis...
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow, I enjoyed the back and forth perspectives of this man, and this woman. And the predicament, are the present committed relationships, worth fixing? Easier to move on for now, but what about in the long run? I was totally engrossed in this scribe.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    awesome write this was well done and tyte ....wow !!!!!
     
  5. spritedwind

    spritedwind Member MEMBER

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    Yes Indeed Poet

    Speak on this thang more...from one who is feeling this thoroughly...One must wonder how to manage such strong emotion without making rash decisions that will tear up everything family oriented of which people on the outside looking in will be like you need to stay and work it out and then the other side of the coin is "I'm out" period. A happy medium. Is there one with this?:em19:
     
  6. LovesDestiny

    LovesDestiny Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you all for the love!!!! All I can say is I only write about "real" stuff!!!!