Time To Drop Them Guilt Bags!

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by Mike Ramey, Sep 15, 2002.

  1. Mike Ramey

    Mike Ramey Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Jul 26, 2002
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    Brothers, I can’t help but to think that a return to common sense; a return to how we USED to do things in our various communities is going to be the ONLY way to see our true, unhindered and unparalleled success as a people.

    I like how author and commentator Tony Brown put it years ago: “God gave us everything we need to be successful as a people.”

    Then, why are we still having problems in our homes? In our neighborhoods?
    In our communities? Among ourselves? It’s simple: the wayward are content to BE wayward, and they want to heap an ever increasing load of guilt on those who have given them sound advice, a helping hand, and a willing ear.

    In other words, if one is driving down the road and sees a highway worker with a red flag warning them of danger ahead--and you keep on going and wreck your car--why then is the highway worker at fault? Why should the one who tried to warn you feel guilty because you have suffered the consequences of your actions?

    After all, YOU didn’t heed the message, right?


    Well, there ARE those who would claim that the messenger didn’t do enough to WARN them. They will STILL try to heap guilt onto the person or persons who tried to warn them of the dangers of the road ahead because they didn’t warn them in a way that they could comprehend!

    I know, I know; this may sound like a stretch--but trust me. There ARE those whom you rub shoulders with on a daily basis who would encourage the driver to sue the Highway Department for damages.

    There is a term for people like this. People who wouldn’t admit to the need for common sense if it arrived on their doorstep with a brass band and the ‘Prize Patrol’ behind it. The term I am referring to is a term I heard in my youth--Hardheaded!

    There is a biblical term that is synonymous with Hardheaded, and it is Stiffnecked!

    Either term will fit those who don’t think that life can happen to them, if they don’t obey the rules, and watch the warning signs out there. One of the sad symptoms of our modern era is the rise in the number of people who think that they are ‘exempt’ from the law, from biology, and from hard work.


    Brothers, have you ever seen a man loaded down with luggage? Especially luggage from those around them who are too lazy to carry their own? What is the natural result? Right! The man with ALL the bags can’t move about freely, nor can he see any obstacles that may appear in front of him. So IF the man should fall, HE appears at fault because those around him were not interested in carrying their own bags.

    How can we find balance in our lives and get a true picture of what lie before us?

    Refuse to accept ‘excess baggage’ from those around us.

    In short, those who want the freedom to ‘do their own thing’--then lay a ‘guilt trip’ on others when it backfires--are going to have to learn how to carry their own luggage. THEY are going to learn how to manage on the other side of your sound advice.

    Please let me take this one step further.

    There ARE those out there, who have their own ventures, businesses, and ‘moonlight’ enterprises going who want to get mad at you for having enough sense to realize that YOU don’t want to be involved.

    It’s kind of like the school child who has ‘signed up’ to help with a fundraiser, and their parent takes the ‘list’ to work with them, trying to get co-workers to subsidize their fundraising. Now, what has the child learned from this? Nothing! They don’t have the slightest idea how to represent themselves, or a product. So, if you fast-forward some twenty years, and the child is an adult, interviewing for a job, they don’t have a clue as to how to represent their ultimate product--themselves--to a potential employer.

    It’s high time that the hard working, upright, righteous, and upstanding men (and women) of society stop letting those who want to cut corners on life load them up with Guilt Bags!

    There’s another old saying out there that we don’t speak enough. “If YOU made your bed, then YOU lie in it!” Don’t expect those who gave you the truth to ‘feel’ sorry for you, if you refused to take note of it, or ACT on it.


    I was listening to an old radio preacher recently who dealt with the matter of ‘ear tickling’ right down the middle. He was amazed, but not shocked, in the fact that folks will do anything to find a church that will tell them what they want to hear--rather than the truth! But he truly ‘hit home’ when he noted that the problem is not ONLY in the church, but in mainstream society as well.

    We live in a time where people are too quick to ‘pick up their ball and leave’. Not only that, but people will often twist the message of the messenger when it doesn’t ‘build’ their ‘self esteem’, or contribute to their way of thinking life should exist in their own little world.

    For example: There is little chance of a young black man succeeding in this country without an education and a clear criminal background. Yet, you and I continue to hear, read, and see the ‘Thug’ life glorified in music, media, and entertainment. Plus, we continue to see some of our young men ‘buy’ into the ‘lie’.

    Now, if the parent/parents have been doing their job, and ‘Johnny’ or ‘Janice’ refuses to listen, why should the parents be made to feel guilty? ‘Johnny’ and ‘Janice’ liked having their ‘ears tickled’ by some of their friends, over the advice of their parents. So, when they wind up standing before a judge, who is over in the gallery watching the goings on? It’s not ‘Johnny’ or ‘Janice’s’ friends, but their parents who have to explain to the world--and the court--why their child chose the wrong road, instead of the right one.


    Now, brothers, there ARE going to be those who will try to ‘chastise’ your decision in freeing yourself from the guilt baggage of others. They have a great organization called ‘the marauding motor mouths’.

    It is during those ‘verbal and Internet tirades’ that I remember the words of an old Ricky Nelson song, called “Garden Party”.

    “You can’t please everyone, so--you’ve got to please yourself.”

    Never have truer words been set to music.

    Let the critics run their mouths. For in reality they are having their OWN ears tickled, and their own eyes blinded by the sound of cash contributions, grant money, political power, or their own agendas--be they corporate or individual. Someday, these people ‘may’ wake up when the reality hits them that YOU refuse to take on guilt for things in society that you didn’t have a hand in creating.

    But I wouldn’t count on them waking up while you are around.

    You will have grown, and moved down the road of life because YOU have made the decision to drop them guilt bags. You’ll be amazed at your own progress when you are carrying your own weight…instead of trying to carry the weight of the world.

    Brothers, the best teaching that we can instill in our children and our society is learning how to carry you OWN bags. Life will pass you by if you spend too much time trying to be a ‘Redcap’ to those who are more interested in themselves, than in you.

    Yes, you will lose some friends and even some family members. But you will have something that is more crucial to your development. The Peace of God.

    Mike Ramey is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. A monthly, syndicated column, written from a biblical, business, and common sense perspective. Emails welcome to [email protected]. © 2002 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International. (5)
  2. ZeroGravity

    ZeroGravity Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Jul 12, 2002
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    System Administrator
    Let the Brotherhood say ... Amen!
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    United States
    Mar 21, 2001
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    BUSINESS owner
    in agreement speaketh to those who not know yet and
    to those who do but forget
  4. Mike Ramey

    Mike Ramey Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Jul 26, 2002
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    Zero and Rich...glad to see you!

    Hope y'all are having a great one! Now, pass that drumstick and the sweet potatoe pie!

    Mike Ramey:toast: