Black Poetry : Through her eyes.....mind~soul and lpoet collabo

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by lpoet, Feb 3, 2003.

  1. lpoet

    lpoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The Continuing Saga Of 5 Shots...


    (lpoet)

    With my back against the wall
    and my forearms folded across my vest
    I stand posted willing ready and able
    to take this mans last breath
    I close my eyes and visualize
    the slugs running through the barrel
    and penetrating his chest
    I can already smell the smoke and
    feel the vibration of the warm steel in my palm
    I think about my moms but
    that thought quickly erased by
    the emergence of the victims face
    my words
    “don’t run ***** my bullets will give chase
    and they’ve never lost a race”
    but I since no fear in this man
    eye to eye we stand and
    I wonder what he’s thinking and
    if I should just erase those thoughts
    but my wondering mind quickly
    brought back to reality as the scuffle takes place
    I close my eyes his gun bursts first
    Terrified
    I run off 5 straight and with 1 left in the chamber
    My entire body somehow senses danger
    Is this god?
    No!
    I look up…
    My body being
    Pierced through by
    The eyes of a
    Young stranger


    (Mind~$oul)

    locked with my eyes...
    a man's eyes
    who just 5 shots
    ago took another man's
    life...
    i seen this
    before...
    through my short years
    my vision has grown immune
    to gore...
    but i'm getting uneasy
    surrounded by all this blood on the
    floor...
    i heard 5 shots
    and I know theres one
    more...


    everybody is too scared
    to move...
    they don't wanna be the one
    that last bullet
    digs into...
    i can hear my mother outside
    calling my name...
    "jasmine!"
    "jasmine!"
    i can't move
    i'm paralyzed by the eyes
    of this man...
    then time froze
    he pointed his gun to me and said
    "i want ya eyes closed"
    (darkness)
    (sound of a terrified heart)
    i can't die!
    i'm just 9!
    i'm not even 13!
    and my birthday is just
    next week...!
    my daddy promised this time he'd
    come see me...!
    and i only---
    (gunshot)

    i remember somebody once said
    you can't hear the shot that
    takes your life away...
    i open my eyes
    another dead body lays...
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    inside dis moment i felt & saw the whole thing
    i covered my head under the covers and closed
    the window
    i never heard a thing!

    dis display was scary & pain felt
     
  3. msluciousb

    msluciousb Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Deep....

    Y'all worked this , you might have a future in film writing, holla back!

    Blessings on Ya House!
     
  4. lpoet

    lpoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks
     
  5. halle24

    halle24 Active Member MEMBER

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    Re: Deep....

    I agree. Every since you wrote 5 shots, you've been writting some real neat stories. I like this one! It ties into the whole thing really well. You and Mind soul work well together. Keep it up.
     
  6. Blue

    Blue Active Member MEMBER

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    Great piece. Lots of imagery. I never read a collabo like this. Great work.
     
  7. lpoet

    lpoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks blue
     
  8. Sista Steele

    Sista Steele Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Powerful.

    Nice work.
     
  9. lpoet

    lpoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks
     
  10. elayne.

    elayne. Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lp. & mind$oul.


    ...once again your collaborative efforts
    are spectacular. the imagery in this
    piece are extravivid!! thanks for sharing.

    itsallLove,
    elayne.
     
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