Black People : Thoughts on Unstyled Kinky hair

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by karmashines, May 15, 2006.

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  1. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Questions to ponder:

    1) If you saw one of our woman with her hair that was kinky and unstyled, would you think she was crazy?

    2) If that woman put a turban on her head to cover up her hair, would you think she was being too old, especially if she was in her 20s or so?

    3) If a black woman was in any way against your own views of blackness, (and for this I will use it in a genetic context thank you), and actually had the audacity to put on clothing with African print, would you think she's being crazy?

    Please note these are just QUESTIONS. I want more honest answers, particularly from those who promote us getting more in touch with our blackness.
     
  2. Bisabee

    Bisabee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I guess by unstyled, you mean it's not in a fro or dreaded or twisted. No, I wouldn't think she's crazy, I would think she's her own person. She'd better be her own person if she's around other Black folks because so many Blacks, depending on age, will begin to make comments or snicker.

    About turbans, I sometimes see Black women wearing colorful head wraps a la African style sometimes casually or sometimes to match an outfit. I've worn them myself for convenience and for style or if it's cold and I don't want to wear a hat.

    Not sure what you mean by your 3rd question.

    This is another one of those sticky issues, even political, issues for Black women, especially. Most Black women have never felt comfortable with just washing and wearing our hair--like white women for ex. I've always noticed how white women can just get out of the swimming pool or shower and just let their hair dry naturally and then they're ready to go,. For Black women, we don't go anywhere until we get that hair tame :lol: again. Some Black women won't get in a swimming pool because of the hair thing.

    Why can't Black women just let our hair dry naturally and just go? I mean we could do that, but I can just imagine all the negative comments and possible problems if we did that.

    Black natural hair and Black creative hairstyles are threatening to some white people, but it also makes some Black people very uncomfortable. In my experience, Black people pay way too much attention to each others hair. We ought to support each other wearing our hair any way we want as long as it's clean and neat.

    That's why I had said a couple of weeks ago on here that Black women need to start a "hair out" day one day a month when we just wear our hair any way we want. Then soon, we could add on another day and another day and pretty soon, we might get hair freedom.
     
  3. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ladies, this is going to sound harsh, but understand it in the spirit in which I say it...

    STOP THIS OVER MUCH CONCERN WITH HOW OTHERS FEEL ABOUT YOU!

    It is as though your opinions about yourselves are MEANINGLESS... If you feel that way about yourselves, then others CAINT help you... Fact is, others don't be paying you no mind most of the time... They're too caught up in their own insecurities...

    Now, let me hit you with the bomb of all bombs. The hardest people on Black Hair are BLACK WOMEN THEMSELVES... BLACK WOMEN criticize BLACK HAIR way more than do Black Men, and certainly most others... And I have that on the word of several women I know who do wear their hair quite natural...



    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  4. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I love the sound of nails being hit on the head!:welldone:
     
  5. Blaklioness

    Blaklioness Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Black women's hair esteem issues come from SOMEwhere, because it is certainly not rooted in nature. I wonder who else tolerates and supports the 'bad' hair notion such that the masses of Black women remain hair insecure?????
     
  6. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i like natural black hair on women.
    dry it and go.............
     
  7. Bisabee

    Bisabee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is interesting because if men are saying that most men dont care about hair, then it sounds like you're saying that women can just shave it all off or just let it stick up or whatever.

    Since coming to this site, I've read that Black men don't care about the hair thing. Many of you don't care if the woman is chubby. You don't care about the clothes and shoes the woman wears. You don't care about her complexion. You don't care about how much or how little money she makes. Black women, on the other hand, are always worried about the hair, the weight, complexion, having money so men won't think she's a financial dependent, etc.

    If men here are saying that most Black men (on here and out there in society)don't care about these things, then I wonder where Black women are getting all of this from.
     
  8. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It is pretty obvious that black women's hair esteem issues is centered on living in a society which considers White-European women (straight hair, light skin, and light eyes) as the standard of beauty. However I believe much like Isaiah stated that sisters place more pressure on themselves to match this ideal than brothers do. It has been my experience that no amount of compliments and assurances in the world will make a woman feel satisfied with herself, unless she is secure in her own beauty.
     
  9. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister BlackLioness, if you are suggesting that BLACK MEN are part of the problem, let me say this to you as a BLACK MAN... The VERY FIRST HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET TO COMMUNICATE TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS THAT THEY HAD ISSUES WITH OUR HAIR WAS NOT MY FATHER< BUT MY MOTHER...

    And that is likely WHERE AFrican men get this idea that there is a problem with BLACK HAIR WORN NATURALLY... AGAIN, sister BlackLioness, my mother is the first person to communicate to me that combing my Black Hair was an issue, that combing my sisters Black Hair was an issue, that she has no problems pressing her hair, that she had no problems pressing my sisters hair... All the while, I NEVER heard my father EVER say one damned word about his hair nor mine... Now, I know this is hard for y'all to accept, but that's my reality, and I don't doubt for one second, in spite of all of your disputations, that THAT is the source of all of this... Just the fact that our sister Karma uses the term "kinky" to described our tightly curled hair is an unconscious message I surely hope she doesn't send to her daughters and sons...

    I don't want to sound harsh, but I don't like to B.S. nobody... Our Hair is not some freaky sex act... It is the hair GOD gave us, just like others have... Attaching these exotic and insulting descriptions is an unconscious thing we got to rid ourselves of, or these questions will continually resurface... I don't hold out much hope for that, frankly, because if a people can justify calling themselves by the most brutal epithet yet created in human history, then their hair is only a small part of their problem...



    PEace!
    Isaiah
     
  10. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i wouldn't say that Zay... maybe i've just privvy to men a bit more shallow than most... however... a few years ago my hair was mid back. i cut the relaxer off and my hair was approx. an inch and a half... oh my goodness! you think i shot someone... that was 2003.... i still hear it ALL THE TIME... why i cut off my hair... please don't cut it again... you thought bout getting a relaxer... i love it when it's pressed... please don't loc it up... my own brother... told me i need to put some 'conk' in it, you know that stuff that had malcolm running to the toilet... his words.... i have decided to cut it this summer right before i go out of the country... brothaz are mortified... a couple actually offering to pay for the maintence to keep me from cutting it...

    now the women on my mother's side of the family hate my hair... i mean hate it!.... granted my grandmother did hair for 50 years... we are accustomed to seeing a press and curl... there's my aunt and her two daughters that love my hair... however we are all alike... but that's it...

    i find.. now this is just in my world... much more 'talk' from men than from women... now don't get me wrong there have men a few men that love my hair... however most make some mention to wanting to see it 'straightened' just to see how 'long' it's grown or how 'long' it is...

    my opinion... if black men collectively said that they didn't care about hair... it's be a whole hellava lot more sistas sporting full fades and caeser's...


    Okay Sista Karma...

    I wouldn't think that she was crazy... neccessarily. it depended on her attire and disposition. i work downtown and it's a lady that walks past my office building everyday, looking unkept, asking for money. now before she ever opens her mouth i thought something wasn't quite right... but i put EVERYTHING together. Now it's another sista, Kim, was travel i nthe same circles. i wouldn't say that she was my friend BUT i see her quite often.... she's on her own stuff... she is just on another level... really cool sista... her hair sort of mirrors the lady by my building... not quite matted, looking like she possibily is thinking of loc'ing up... i mean it's intresting... not my thang...but she works it... i ain't mad at her... i dont' think she's crazy.

    i've seen a number of sista's pull off wraps.... i mean working them. i never thought about it being too old... i may have thought, "she can do a better job a picking one that compliments her outfit," but that's just me...

    the third question i'm assuming is if i saw a sista with some colored contacts and some blond hair in some african clothing would i think that's she crazy... nah... but i'd think the women looked a bit off

    moreso than hair... i think people should pay MORE attention to how they present themselves to the world. how you do so is the first clue to how you view yourself.... do you take pride in yourself or are you just throwin a few things together cause you don't have the time or the inclination...

    ohhh... btw... friday in the barbershop... there's a good 20 men in there... and a woman came in to talk to one of the barbers and she had a bald fade... all the dudes save two... (the one she was talking to and the one who use to hold my hair up) started snickering and talking bout some, "hell no." now this happens everytime a woman comes in with short natural hair. and they said some other stuff... that they always say... bout rolling over to your woman and her hair short as his... i mean... these are men tearing these sistaz up..not other siters zay...
     
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