Black Relationships : Thoughts of Self

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by SayWord, Jan 30, 2004.

  1. SayWord

    SayWord Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've been thinking and wondering about how we think of outselves as people. And are those thoughts accurate? We might think of ourselves in ways that are unrealistic. That statement swings both ways. Some people tell me that I'm a really good writer. I don't think so however. I think I'm average at best. What are these people seeing that I am not seeing? And is it possible that they see more about me that I'm not aware of? I have a friend who always claims that it doesn't matter what other people think about her, as long as she thinks positive of herself. But is that blindness? Could we think of ourselves so highly that we are unaware of the person that we really portray. Is it possible that we don't see ourselves as worthy but in actuality we are great. I've been wondering about that for sometime. Is the world's preception of you as important, more important, or less important of what you think about yourself? Some people think they are generous and giving when the reality is that they are selfish. And when comfronted with that reality they deny it. Are they living in some kind of fantasy world? As a man, I know that I've judged people on their actions. I've judged them on how they treat others and how they treat themselves. But does my opinion really matter? Does anyone's opinion of another really matter?
     
  2. kenyatta

    kenyatta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    no...no...no...

    :read: :read: :read: :read:

    quote:
    that statement swings both ways.

    It sure do if you're sharing a swing with someone. How, how, how can someone, anyone swing with you on your ship? You are the captain of your ship (the ruler and keeper of your mind)

    quote:
    some people tell me I'm a really good writer, I don't think so however.

    Did you know that...you are what you eat? if you eat and digest the fact that you are just an "okay writter" that's the signal you sent out and it's what you'll get back. In other words, your spirit is at your beck and call 24-7, it's there to serve your every thought. example: If I wanted to just give up, feel only pity for myself. Well guess what? everyone that comes in contact with me will feel only pity for me. YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK!!!

    quote:
    I have a friend who always claims that it doesn't matter what they think about her, as long as she thinks positive about herself. But is that blindness?

    Hell no that's not blindness...that's her way of thinking...and a very good way at that.
    there's a lot to be said about what others think, but that's another thread.

    quote:
    Does anyone opinion of another really matter?

    again...the answer is...Hell no. Every "beiing" alive has one.
    And that being the case...we can agree...to disagree !!!

    ps I'm sure you are a good writer and time will tell, I'm new to this site so I will be checking out your works. keep your head and spirits up.

    queentswana...luv & peace
     
  3. SayWord

    SayWord Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Just because you think you are a great person doesn't mean it's true. You could think of yourself as a horrible person, that doesn't make it true either. Self-preception(I'm a bad speller) can be ones undoing. Lieing to yourself isn't cool. It's healthy to have a good self image, but I think other people see things in you that you don't always see. All I'm asking is if that is a good or a bad thing. I don't think everyone's opinion of you should count, but maybe the people closest to you. The people that have known you for a while. I have flaws that I don'y always see. Sometimes people have to sit me down and talk to me about them. Sometimes I have to sit someone down and dish out some truth to them. I've been thinking about this topic for a while. I think your preception of self is flawed because no one really wants to think anything bad of themselves. All men think they're packing, but that doesn't make it true. I think you should think of yourself highly, but you also need to be realistic. The only way to overcome your short comings is to know them. And if you don't take the time out to come down to earth and realize you are not always the person you think you are, you're going to be stuck in a rut.
     
  4. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    First of all, I can see that you, like everyone else in the world, has their own opinion.
    Example: When you said I was self flawed...well isn't that an opinion also? For you and in your thought process it may be a fact that I'm self flawed, but do you really think that everyone would share your thought process? Therefore you again stated an opinion. Here's how it goes. What many people need to do is to go into introspection with themselves. In other words, you have to go within and examine who and how you are. Once that is done you will come into a KNOWING OF YOURSELF. You will be able to HONESTLY aknowledge your abilities, your flaws, your weaknesses, your strengths, and your character. Only at that point and after doing that will you begin to understand the difference between someone's OPINION OF YOU AND THE FACTS OF YOU.
    This is the beginning of self knowledge...the point where you no longer need or desire outside input or opinion concerning how you are, for you will KNOW THE DIFFERENCE yourself. Ask a million questions and you will get a million opinions, and it will be YOUR OPINION AS TO WHO IS RIGHT OR WRONG. Once you've done introspection on yourself, the million questions will already have their answer, for the answer was and is always with you...once you open yourself to receive it.
     
  5. SayWord

    SayWord Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    First off, let me apologize. I didn't mean for it to come off as me calling your preception of yourself flaweed. I don't know you personally to say anything like that.

    Secondly, I'm not saying that I know what the answer to this is for a fact. I'm just hoping to share ideas with others.

    I understand what you are saying. I have a certain preception of myself, that doesn't mean it is accurate. It just means it's my preception of myself. I could be wrong. I think there are people who are out there lying to themselves. Trying to convince themselves that they are something that they are not. Michael Jordan tried to convince himself he could be a baseball player. We see how that worked out. He might've wanted to be a baseball player, but it wasn't for him. And after all the news reports and all his fans pleading with him to get back into HIS sport, he finally made that move.

    I don't think anyone should simply rely on their thoughts of self. I don't think they should ask everyone for an opinion either. There are a select few people that know me well. If they say something about my character, I know that they know me well enough to make that call. I think everyone should have friends like that. And when you hear something(that you might not like), you shouldn't just brush it off because it goes against your version of what you are. You should think on it and reflect. What they say might be true. But those are just my thoughts.

    Apologies again if I offended you.
     
  6. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Word...

    I wasn't in any way offended, the two of us were just having a difference in opinions...that's what keeps a thread going lol. The both of us are BIGGER than that. I'm sure we're all here to grow and learn...together in UNITY. We won't all agree on everything all the time, right? so we'll all voice our opinions...we'll all hear/listen to others opinions...keep what's worth keeping (to us) and gently blow the rest away.

    keep up the good work...much luv... :)


    queentswana
     
  7. SayWord

    SayWord Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thaks Queen. Much love to you too. And thank you for your responses. I learned from them. :coffee:

    ~SayWord
     
  8. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    If someone truly does care to know thy self and find an equilibrium between self-awareness and their actions, could it be important for them to be self-aware along with having knowledge of how certain others think of them?

    Not caring what others think of us is difficult to do in every sense of the notion. I firmly believe that there are some people whose opinions of us do matter whether we will admit to that or not. Their opinions matter because of our respect for them and the fact that they've earned our trust. What they think often matters to us so I think to some degree, most, if not all, of us need some validation even though we might be confident that who we are and what we do may only be important to no one but ourselves.

    To seek feedback from others about what we do and how we think does not mean that we give up our right to be ourselves or that we will want to change because of what we are told. Along with self-awareness should be self-confidence and trust that we are who we want to be or are becoming. It's not unusual that others might see qualities in us that we either suppress or hide from or are not aware of. Many of us struggle to solicit the opinions of others about ourselves because our 'egos' are often fragile making us unwilling to invite any form of criticism.

    As frightening as this might be to some, what does it say about us if we function in a vacuum and only go by what we think and not care about what certain others might think as well, even if it's about us? Where is the confidence? Is that living in reality or does that reality exist only in our own minds. We are meant to be social and to form a community of liknesses and similarities. If we genuinely care about others, doesn't or shouldn't that include how other's think?

    Caring what other's think does not mean that we live our lives based solely on their opinions, but I think there is a balance that can be achieved between ours and theirs, which could bring about an equilibrium that could be the essence of a well-adjusted attitude about ourselves and the world around us.

    My humble opinion . . . :spinstar:
     
  9. ZeroGravity

    ZeroGravity Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Excellent!

    Excellent!

    NNQueen, yours and queentswana's comments brought this thread full circle. Wow!
     
  10. SayWord

    SayWord Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    NNQUEEN...thank you for sharing. Very enlighting. Always a pleasure reading what you have to type :D
     
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