Black Relationships : This sounds retarded, but I need your opinion

intolerant

Active Member
MEMBER
May 18, 2003
27
3
Can you give me YOUR OWN definition of what you think a ***** is. If you are wondering why I am asking you that, well I am asking because my boyfriend threw a temper tantrum last night, because I was trying to ask him if he is being faithful to me. He got mad and called me a "****in' *****". And he told me that I act like I do not trust him, because I keep on asking him. So I am in a suffering mood today, trying to think about ways to not say much to him. He wants me to move back to Kansas City where I came from, just because I told him that I do not appreciate his dirty language around me. So I want to know in your opinion, what do you think a ***** is. In my opinion, of intellect, if he is calling me a *****, then he is calling me domineering, lewd, and as well as mailicous. Can you guys tell me what YOUR definition of ***** is.

Thank you very much
 

Queenie

going above and beyond
PREMIUM MEMBER
Feb 9, 2001
7,136
2,064
intolerant...my sister....I've read other messages you have posted here and I want to share a few things with you.

First, we request that posters do not use language that appears on our "banned" word list. The name of a female dog used in the context to insult a female is one of those words. Please review the forum rules by clicking on the link at the top of each forum page to familiarize yourself with the rules here and comply.

Second, I must agree with Kemestry...you and your "friend" appear to have a lot of drama in your relationship. You write as though you're unhappy in the relationship, you come here for advice about what to do, yet you stay in the relationship. Does this sound healthy to you?

I'm sure that anyone who is computer literate knows full well what the definition of that word is. I'm sure you have access to a dictionary if you don't. If nothing else, We don't need to generate a whole discussion about it when we hear it used so often around us.

I would guess that since you didn't take what your boyfriend said to mean he was paying you a compliment, what does it matter knowing many different people's definition of the offensive word?

I don't think we want to encourage people to express to you and others something as derogatory and demeaning as what you prompt by the focus of this thread. Trust me, it serves no value and only serves to perpetuate a negative situation. Don't just come with the problem...bring some solutions with you sister!

You seek advice here? Well, I would suggest that you re-evaluate your relationship with someone who treats you as you describe. If you don't like it, then raise up and do something to change it. If you are willing to settle for this treatment, then live with it and stop complaining. Let your behavior be consistent with your words. That's the best advice I can offer you at this time.

Of course, we only have your side of the story so people are only going to feed off of what information you supply us with.

I sincerely hope you make the BEST choice for you!

Peace :heart:
 

$$RICH$$

Lyon King Admin.
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Mar 21, 2001
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Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
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it's a female four leg dog ..............
to call a woman such is very disrespectful
if he truely love u he wouldn't say it
it allows u to see how he really feel
it's a low blow to any woman these are words of hate
surely ur not what one so called u out to be.....
ur more then that myth of speaking and know ya a Queen
the mess is crazy stuff i think u need to look twice at him
u ask if he's being faithful and he blow up taking it somewhere
else trust had nothing to do with it ...that tells u he's doing
something not right .....in due time it will come to light for eyes to
see but to call u this was low .......u will have to think about this
and work it out within self ........if u allow him to say this and treat u this way ur headed for self destruction ......stop him now and ur allow to ask question no reason to blow up
u did nothing wrong good luck on this word play drama...
 

ZeroGravity

Well-Known Member
MEMBER
Jul 12, 2002
229
10
Atlanta
Occupation
System Administrator
That word is similar to the n-word in that it depends on who is saying it and context in which it is spoken.

I've heard women use that word to describe themselves in a complimentary fashion and some wear it like a badge of honor.

I've heard men use that word toward other men which tends to provoke violence immediately afterward.

I've heard men use that word toward his woman and she doesn't take it as a derogatory term.

I've heard women use that word in describing another woman that somehow elevates her image in a positive swing and I've heard women use that word to assasin someone's character.

-AND- I've heard men use that word toward women in the fashion of your post, which only you can interpret the meaning and context in which it was spoken. From just reading your post...the interpretation of the context is not readily clear to me cause those same words can be spoken to a woman and it will cause her to smile.

I agree with Thandiwe in another thread on that word....that a word that's gotta GO...but it yield so much power and used by so many...it ain't going nowhere :)
 

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