Black Relationships : This Is Why I'm Hot!!!!!!

it is what it is...khasm
oh it is "a cheap shot"? well if you insist ...

1) reading between the lines, i do believe that that is pretty much what the Ladies have been saying.

2) but they are so much stronger than i am that they can do it with much better grace and style.

thanks to myBrother Metasaience's post(s), this "Young Black Mind" that i've been sporting for the last half century has recognized that that short need to allow a piece of the "explosion in motion" to vent has released enough pressure that i can come back and try some more. my Thanks to you.

and my Apologies to the House.
 
oh it is "a cheap shot"? well if you insist ...

1) reading between the lines, i do believe that that is pretty much what the Ladies have been saying.

2) but they are so much stronger than i am that they can do it with much better grace and style.

thanks to myBrother Metasaience's post(s), this "Young Black Mind" that i've been sporting for the last half century has recognized that that short need to allow a piece of the "explosion in motion" to vent has released enough pressure that i can come back and try some more. my Thanks to you.

and my Apologies to the House.



Thats whats up!!! BE live me black folk are intelligent enough to see the difference hotep!!
 
yeah you got that right; you can only "ASSume". someday it would be helpful if you'd move beyond to KNOWledge about something better than what we have today, which, apparently, you'd rather have.

sure, i'll deal with it, i always have: black "men" ain't about squat but tearing down anything that anyone tries to build for us. i've seen none of the "brothers" trying to help ourSisters try to pull this back together. i've seen none of the "brothers" talking about ourFuture, only our past and esoteric stuff that really isn't much about nation building ... unless it is a nation of slaves. i've seen none of the "brothers" clamoring to restart that "brothers only" class. i've only seen the "brothers" tearing down, or ignoring, any efforts to grow something better. i've only seen "brothers" squabbling over definitions without much acceptance of anything .. except another idiotic "reason" to tear each other down. i've seen "brothers" beating up on themselves, ourWomen and any institutions that Africans try to build. i've seen "brothers" ... ah never mind; what i've seen truly sickens me and i'll go back to staying away from y'all and continuing this Life alone.

keep on keeping on tearing it down. i got no more time or energy for you. i'll keep supporting destee.com. and i'll prolly even comment a time or two. but if the choice is nation building with y'all or continuing to watch you allowing yourselves to be convinced to (well, you don't appear to need convincing anymore, now do you?) hold yourselves back, you've convinced me that it's better for my health to just keep watching - i've got enough grey hair and have no desire for ulcers.

goodbye



By you definition, Malcolm and Martin tore down too. And you definitely would have dogged Harriet Tubman for pulling guns on people. You can dish it out, but cant take it.










 
Gee, this was a fun 12 page topic to read :drink:
So here's my $2 worth.....


I was on the bus this morning....An old woman with a cane got on the bus. Now if you ride MARTA at all you know the seating at the front of the bus is for senior citizens and people with disabilities. There was a young man sitting in that area on his cell phone. The rest of the passengers were women. I was standing near the back door. The bus was late and full. No one got up so that the old woman could sit down. I know why the women didn't get up. They were all looking for the boy (notice I said boy and not man) to get up. Passively trying to get him to be responsible and do the right thing. It went over his head; after all he was engrossed in his telephone conversation. Anywho… The bus pulled off abruptly and the old lady fell smack dab on the floor. At first no one moved to help the old lady up. I can't speak for everyone else, but I was expecting the child to come off the phone and help the lady. He didn't. He was the only individual with a penis in that part of the bus, including the driver. The women up front, eventually, helped the old lady up and one gave her her seat. The old lady was hurt enough to need an ambulance. The bus couldn't pull off until the ambulance came for the lady. Throughout the entire ordeal, the boy was on the phone, with his head down.
Boy, man, doesn't matter - you are all responsible for giving up your seat to the elderly and disabled. For a boy/man to have to get up first, I consider it a privilege, not a right. When an old or elderly person gets on my bus, I quickly glance around and see if anyone will move within seconds. If not, I get ready to get up. The only time I don't is when I have a little one with me or I'm loaded with grocery bags.

What the hell is going on with Black men today?​
Compared to what other time frame are we talking about here?

I expect better from you!
Why? Just because you expect it doesn't mean they are obligated to live up to it - especially since they are strangers to you.

I hear said all the time how hard it is for a Black man to get a break in today's society. But the level of disdain that the Black man has for the Black woman is horrifying and from this morning's event… dangerous.
How does NOT having disdain for the black woman help a black men get a break in today's society? When he talks about catching a break, I thought that meant that would like to get a job or get promoted, not be harassed by the police, not be followed in the store, and not have to bothered with things based on his race or skin color. I'm missing what disdain or no disdain for the black woman has to do with that. Anyone care to enlighten?

I don't think the Black man realizes that we are a team. The Black man and the Black woman.
Well apparently yall missed that that you apart of the team because you didn't get for that old lady and put it all on this black guy. Would you making these same generalizations if a white guy was talking on the phone and didn't get up? Would he get chastised for not remembering we are all on the a team? Me thinks not.

If the man drops the ball, the woman picks it up.
Unless you're a child - you'll have to get your own ball. I take responsibility for what I do, and that's it.

Black men have willingly laid the ball down and walked off the field.
Can't say I blame them. Maybe we (as black women) need to leave the ball behind too. Find a new game or something. This one sucks.

Scenario 1: Mothers and sons

The mother sacrifices to give the child what he wants; so that he never feels a lack in his life because he doesn't have a father. This boy grows up, moves away from home and marries a white woman. I'm not saying that he can't love her, but I do question how it got started in the 1st place. Gives this woman everything, but never goes back to visit the mother. Oh he calls on Sunday and sends gifts at the appropriate times, but never gives her her props or reparations if you will. And if for some reason he runs short, who do you think he will call and who will have to go without again, so that this grown assed man can have what he wants?
Your children do not owe you a thing. You do what you do not because you expect of your children in return - but because it's your job as a parent to do what you are suppose to do - and that's take care of your child. Marrying a white woman does not signify a rejection of the black mother or the black woman. If you a woman feels this way.... then maybe that's why her son married a white woman. She might have rubbed her insecurity of feeling less valued as a black woman and a black person off on him.

Scenario 2: Church

Picture this… A Black male preacher who's father died while he was a young boy, raised by his mother, marries a Black woman and has 2 daughters. This preacher who has always been surrounded, supported and nurtured by women his entire life, says that a woman is unfit for leadership positions in church. But they are more than capable to tithe their money and provide support. He also places restrictions on the women's appearances and behaviors.
And? I do believe it was you that told me double standards were around to stay and that's how it's gonna be - so now you don't like it? You and everyone else seems to support and like double standards when they fit you and whatever preconceived notions you have about relationships and men, and then don't like them when they don't live up to those notions. And I quote...
medusanegrita said:
Men aren't held accountable to these standards that are set for women....

Maybe if more men were held sexually accountable for their little romps in the hay... then we wouldn't be having this problem and discussion in the first place. But you allow men to have sex with anybody just because they can and YOU (yes - YOU! society and community) condone it on the basis of his gender of being a man... and tell the women to take more sexual accountability and have higher standards....
So basically - YOU ARE ALL AT FAULT FOR WHAT YOU HAVE TAUGHT THESE MEN AND ALLOWED THEM TO DO. BLAME YOURSELVES!

Teach your men (young boys and sons) better and they will do better. Cut out the ugly double standards.
So? What's your point?

Just because you don't like double standards does not mean they aren't going to continue.... If a male gets the message from all the women he associates with that women are whorish, then when he steps in a different cipher he will use this information on the new women. Is it really fair that an innocent women should have to pay for the sins of basic women?
You might see this as comparing apples to oranges but I see it isn't. On the one hand you you favor double standards because you see it benefiting you in regards to relationships and getting a man... then you disfavor them when they seem useless to you - such as the church. Ironically, it was the church that that upheld these double standards to begin with, so it should be no surprise that women... who rank below god and man... have a lower position in the church and can not be at the helm of the pulpit.

Scenario 3: Sisters and Bothers

A brother wants to buy a new car, but his credit is shaky. His twin sister has better credit (this is true story) than he, and willingly (and happily) co-signs for the car. Why? She wants to support the brother and wants to see him happy. But the brother wrecks the car, has no insurance and defaults on the loan. What is it she should do? Trust that this Black man is going to do the right thing and pay the loan off? Or pay for a car that she has never driven to preserve her credit? She pays it off. The brother never says a word, just avoids her forever. They used to be twin close, but they grow into strangers.
What does this scenario have to do with the price of tea in China? She expects her brother will pay the loan off because he's a black man? That doesn't make any sense. If she had any sense about herself, she could have called Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, or Judge Wapner and sued his butt. You love family but business is business and you treat that like a business deal. If he signed papers and she signed papers, she has papers backing the load for him. She still pay off the car if he broke, but the ethical thing to do would be to sue him and make sure it goes on his credit too.

Scenario 4: Grandparents and grandsons

A Black grandmother is raising a Black teenaged boy because the parents are unable and/or unwilling to raise this child. This child refuses to do what the grandmother asks because he knows that she is physically weak and cannot force him to obey.
Huh? :?:
That's not a black thing, that just a rebellious teenage thing. It's noble what she is doing but if she cain't handle and she's old then she might need to get somebody who can. Maybe he needs therapy or she needs to turn him over the system.

Scenario 5: Strangers

A Black woman sees a Black man behaving savagely in public. She approaches him to speak to him. She intends to convince him of the value of civilization. He curses her to her face. That doesn't deter her. He brandishes a weapon. Still no backing off from the woman. He spits on her person. She turns and walks away.
She should have never approached him. It is not her responsibility to save a black man. That's the problem with black women and why they get so durn hurt all the time. You feel like you have to shoulder the responsibility of every black man out there, and you want for him to give you something in return. When he doesn't or shuns you - you are gravely struck ill be ill by behavior. This woman will hate all black men just because this one crazy acting dude spit on her - a man that she never had approached and tried to take responsibility for in the first place. Choose your battles. That is not one a sane person should have chose.

Scenario 6: Siblings

A brother steals from his father's estate all the money that should go to his mother, sister, step-sister and child. Gets mad when he is taken to court for his discretions and is now looking for support from the very people he robbed.
Sounds like poetic justice. What's the problem here?

I know that there are Black women who pledge their trough to the devil. But Black women don't do it in the numbers that Black men do. It's an epidemic.
I fail to see how the above scenarios are an indication of the black man 'pledging his trough to the devil.'

This blog is also not about finger pointing though fingers are getting pointed. ***Shrugs***
You see the contradictions but fail to note them.

This is in hope that some black man might read this and ask himself if he truly loves and respects the Black women in his life.
what if he says yes but still doesn't understand how what you wrote correlates to him loving the black woman in his life?

If you are going to stand with us (Black women), then do the **** thing. Don't just meet us half way, but come and rescue us. You will be rescued in the process.
Sorry. I can't save the black man from the plethora of problems he has, and i don't expect him to 'save' me. I just want really want someone who listen and shoulder me emotionally, and I can then save myself.


If you don't want us, don't treat us like refuse to be discarded. Don't belittle us, and don't try to explain our actions to the devil. It's none of their business.
I agree here.

We need warriors that are willing to stand with us, strong and fearless, against the storm of injustice and fight until we get what we want or die.
Wow, that seems like a lot of responsibility. I think most men just want to live and help where they can when they can. They aren't looking to be a martyr.... unless they associate relationships with black women to joining the military, pushing drugs, or ganbangin. Even then they aren't considered myryres anymore, just killers.


You ain't feeling it? SMH. Then maybe you're less than I thought. Maybe you should read something else that doesn't challenge you. Only grown folks need apply here.
Interesting. You equate all of the above because one black guy didn't get up from his seat while you all let an elderly lady fall.
 

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