What he wants is something soo unthinkable. How can he expect me to walk away from the only thing I have ever known. How can he expect me to take his promises to heart. I listen and I think and I feel. And feeling is the mistake that I made. Because If I didnt feel I would never even consider his words. But feelings swirl and dance and take on a life of their own. They seem to talk louder than the words even he is saying. SHHHH Heart hush I can't think. I hear his words with my head and Im singing that dang song "NO NO NO" But my heart is already thinking of ways to leave. My heart is already packing up feelings I've had for sooo long and replacing them with these new crazy exciting feelings. Wait Heart not so fast. The voice of reason in my head seems to get quieter and quieter. My heart beats louder and louder. Every Lubb Dubb is an expression of how much I want to say YES YES YES. But Im so scared. I cant imagine what the future will be like. I cant imagine what my past will look like. And I am so drawn. Janet Jackson in my head "Like a moth to a flame" Dang Dang Dang. what do I do how do I answer. I need silence there is too much NOise in my thinking.