Black Poetry : They care, so i have to.

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Randee, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can't write about him
    I can't talk about him without the taste of bile
    rising up in my throat
    without my head twisting and lips pursing
    I can barely think about him being before me on
    bended knee while I wonder if he knelt before
    her in some sick fashion checking the piercings -
    her mama must be so proud to have raised a whore -
    But, I don't want to write about her
    I want to write about him and i can't
    Can't see the point and the shades of red
    heat my patience to a boil still
    So, I choose to ignore, but that's hard to do
    when these two children look identical to you
    and they are the joys of my life, the best part of my day
    and while I ignore him, he in turn ignores them
    i try and insist that he loses out, but no matter
    what in-and-out dad he is, they love him
    I will not be the one to tarnish that image
    so, i hang pictures in there room instead
    ones of him and them at birth, daycare parties
    and in the kitchen. I took that one knowing
    before our oldest's birth that he probably wouldn't stay
    that this might be the only thing they had of him
    in a decade to come. I was wrong
    we get late child support payments and birthday cards
    we get phone calls in off hours when he knows they are alseep
    we get payments for summer camp late into November
    we get nothing that we need when we need it
    but these babies of mine don't know about going without
    cuz I do what I got to make needs turn into realities
    and camps get paid for by doing whatever it takes
    and life goes on and mom is mom and dad is
    superman when he walks in the door three days after christmas
    with some toy I couldn't afford, cuz i was worried about paying the light
    bill while dodging the rental furniture people so they didn't take away
    their matching bedroom sets in the room they
    share cause I had to downsize my house when you downsized us.
    My whole life changed when you choose her over us
    and now, you want us back. You are f()*&#($*&#$*A& nuts
    Cuz I was happy for the summer with a man of my own
    and that little girl left you as soon as support collection found you
    and the DEA is on your *** and you wonder if anyone talked to me
    what would I even say, i don't even know where you live anymore
    had to inform their school of your name and address unknown
    looking ghetto as hell in this middle class white neighborhood i
    struggle to maintain and keep up with the Jones'
    so your children aren't at risk of being shot
    or targeted by gangs or offered drugs on their way to school
    i was always the comfortable place you rested your head
    but it's different now, there are already two little boys
    resting in my bed in the spot next to where you laid.
    I need nothing from you, not a word not a sound
    and in this conflict of their needs versus mine
    I am sure to find will not be the last time that
    the two collide. So, figure out how to be with them
    and not me cuz I could care less what happens to you
    except I care what happens to them. And, every time
    something happens to you it affects them. Do you think
    about them at all in any unselfish ways? Do you wonder
    how they eat when you don't provide or what stresses i go
    through paying tuition and filling out scholarships forms and applications
    for summer camps, baseball academies, football spots
    all the while transporting them to practices and appointments in my 2006 Taurus
    thats falling apart in typical white Ford Fashion
    (5 minutes after the last payment made)
    while you sport around time in a new hemi truck pissed they took your license
    for violated child support payments and why you may go to jail
    over cash payments received for unhonest work
    that they never benefit from.
    I don't care what happens to you, except they do.
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    deeply felt the divide of what was to what is today
    the betrayal ........PRAYER is the answer........deep!!!
     
  3. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    spoken with the conviction only a mother could convey...when the love of her child is worth more than a paycheck...and how they view their father is only important because they love their father and you don't want to injure that love.

    i bow to you.
     
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