Black People : The Wounded Mind (part5,)

HealingU

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Dec 13, 2004
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I stated earlier where we actually begin to change and must elaborate further so that each person has the opportunity to heal themselves. It is only by looking back into our lives and acknowledging truth that any of us can heal ourselves. In continuation: It is the fear of not getting the reward as children that becomes the fear of rejection. The fear of not being good enough for someone else is what makes us try to change, what makes us create an image.

Then we try to project that image according to what they want us to be, just to be accepted, just to have the reward. We learn to pretend to be what we are not, and we practice trying to be someone else, just to be good enough for Mom, Dad, for the teacher or for our religion, or whatever. We practice and practice...and we master how to be what we are not. Soon we forget who we really are, and we start to live our images. We create not just one image, but many different images according to the different groups of people we associate with.

We create images at home, an image at school, an image at work...and when we grow up we create even more images. This is also true of simple relationships between a man and a woman. The woman has an outer image that she tries to project to others, but when she is alone, she has another image of herself. The man also has an outer image and an inner image. By the time we are adults, the inner image and the outer image are so different that they hardly match anymore. How then can a man and woman actually know each other? They don't. They can only try to understand the image. But there are more images to consider.

When a man meets a woman, he makes an image of her from his point of view, and the woman also makes an image of the man from her point of view. The he tries to make her fit the image he makes for her and she tries to make him fit the image she has made for him. Of course they are lying to each other, even if they don't know they are lying. The relationship can not be based on truth because they can not see through the fog or the image that they have created of the person.

When we are children, there is no conflict with the images we pretend to be. Our images are not really challenged until we begin to interact with the outside world and no longer have our parents protection. This is why being a teenager is so difficult. Even if we are prepared to to support and defend our images, as soon as we try to project our images to the outside world, the world fights back. The outside world starts proving to us privately and publicly that we are not what we pretend to be. (To be continued)
 

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