Poetry Critiques : The Truth Be Told

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by One9_Arch, Aug 15, 2007.

  1. One9_Arch

    One9_Arch Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Aug 4, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Salaam Family:

    I'm in a spiritual battle with evil mentalities.
    They'd rather see me buried alive,
    Than let me be what I be.

    A revolutionary at heart
    My only love is for freedom;
    Doesn't matter the price I pay
    As long as I can defeat'em.

    Visualizations? I need them.
    When I see'em I write;
    Never fight'em ... Before I fight'em
    I'd leave them for you to sight.

    That way, when I'm alone
    And aint nobody to lead me;
    I can reach out and, hopefully
    You'll be there willin' to teach me.

    See me falling ...
    Calling my family ******* through the night;
    Prison walls carry the echoes of a tormented life.

    Full of pain
    We being victimized constantly;
    Sick of dreamin' of being free
    In this world of grief.

    Streets full of beef
    Reakin' with police brutality;
    My peoples mortality rate ... Exceeds reality
    So I retaliate ... Against the devil's obvious intent--
    To kill God! I know its hard for a demon to repent.

    But give me a chance and I guarentee.
    To carry this torch, to the other side
    Picture me.

    As I ride on my foes,
    Ever tired of deceit;
    Accept no lies ... I can't lose
    Heed this truth and weep.

    The only thing lackin' is a vision.
    Give'em light and they'll see;
    A new world rise from the ashes of fallen humanity.

    Picture me laying in a prison cell meditating
    On eliminating the enemies of Black liberation.

    Picture me chasing off the opposition-
    Rejecting all propositions
    In conflict with my mission.

    Born to the terror, so We're terrorized.
    Look in a Black gods eyes and...
    See your future being buried alive.

    Got your mind wired shut-
    Aint no retaliation;
    Eradication is a must
    So We bust 'til We make it.

    'Cause revolution is a bloody business:
    Down dirty, murder your enemies is what it really means.

    Knowledge supreme and efficient.
    Full of politicin;
    The American dream is sufficient only for a fean.

    You gotta be boss, number one.
    Gotta keep on struggling ... Never give up;
    But keep on loving and thuggin' if you must.

    Express love for your own kind.
    And try to recognize;
    That in a minute you'll be free if you strive.

    It takes an entire generation of Mob...
    Minded Black men and women;
    To resurrect a nation of Gods.​

    [to be cont.]
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    United States
    Mar 21, 2001
    Likes Received:
    BUSINESS owner
    This here was hot and on point i like and don't see a thing wrong wit it !
    Keep doing what u do
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    United States
    Oct 4, 2003
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    Your pieces have a very smooth pace and read very easily, this one does as well. I felt such determination from this uplifting piece.