Black Relationships : The Truth about Black Men and fatherhood

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by MRLEGEND, Sep 22, 2008.

  1. MRLEGEND

    MRLEGEND Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    BlackMenVentTV Episode#2 Part 2

     
  2. Jazzytude

    Jazzytude Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wrong choice!!!...LOL

    Whatever...it takes two...if one made a wrong choice then that means two made the wrong choice!

    It seems to me that the guys in this clip is not really facing reality. A real Father is worried about their kids day to day , week to week, month to month and year to year well being.

    You cannot make a child give a hundred dollars a month and expect that to be sufficent enuff to raise a child....even the weekend time visits is not enuff... Stability is not a money order for a hundred dollars....Ok

    Some men gets mad that the women is going out and assume she suppose to turn saint afteer having kids. LOL....sike...never get it twisted. Women today knows our role is more than just domestic...some of our men needs to know that their role is more than just reproducing ...especially when they having problems taking care of the ones they already have.

    You guys are not gonna be making new families and living the good life while the first children is being neglected.

    Yes their are some gold diggers and yes their are bi-sexual women who are raising children......If you are a fellow who finds hisself in this position you wont be the last and you not the first....The main focus should be the kids...making their quality of life better and to counter act whatever wrong you think is in their life.

    If the momma going out...baby sit or mind your kid....use that time to bond and influence....stop hatting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make it work for the child!!!! Then maybe the moms will listen to what you have to say about how she is acting....cuz you helping her. See the mother need some shetime and if the father can help without being spitefull cuz she going to the club ...then maybe she will be more understanding when you guys fall short on the monetary side of things.

    I'm just saying!!!

    Peace
     
  3. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In the Spirit of Sankofa!




    Jazzytude,
    :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:
     
  4. MRLEGEND

    MRLEGEND Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree it does take two, but why would a woman risk bringing in an unwanted child with someone who is NOT going to be there

    There are good men and women, then there are bad men and women, so It takes 2 is not the answer here...it is a given, and it's tangent...

    The general concensus is, is that black men don't take care of their children. We know this to be untrue.

    The truth is black women don't choose father material, people who wasn't gonna be their from the get-go.

    There are millions of black men ready to be great fathers and husbands, but our women choose people based off of money/swagger...basically things that do not support longevity in a relationship.

    The main focus SHOULD be the kids...and WOULD be if the person they were having sex with was an honorable men...how many honorable men do you see women chasing after?

    So we have a nation of sexually free independant black women who do not VALUE A GOOD MAN.

    It takes two is irrelevant to this subject...of course it takes two
     
  5. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    yoiu are so wrong for this old tired feeble attempt to shift blame; come on over here and talk to me for a minute.

    think about this on your way over: WHERE ARE ALL THESE HONORABLE MEN THAT Y'ALL KEEP TALKING ABOUT?! why ain't they out in some forward visible place so that the sisters can make better choices?

     
  6. MRLEGEND

    MRLEGEND Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    GOOD BLACK MEN ARE IN ABUNDANCE They are everywhere

    Most of our women have their own ideal of what a good man is, and they usually tack on some sort of financial package to that..which disqualifies them as gold diggers

    Answer me this... why can women of other ethnic backgrounds find good black men? When our own women can't even see us, they say we're gay or in jail... Yet they get pissed when they see carlton banks with a white woman... claiming he's a sell out

    Good black men are going where they are wanted; we don't fit the stereotypical phasode of the modern coon amoral thug bafoon that everybody has fallen in love with...so we easily get looked past especially if we're not rich, OR pretending to be rich.

    Why can't black women see us? Because they are looking for people with Swagg, money, or other entertaining things and acts men put on for undisclosed agendas.

    They are choosing men based on if they have a degree or not. Do they have a job, a car, does he live by himself. How much he makes, how he dresses, is his sex the bomb...is he TALL..lol

    ALL OF THE ABOVE DOES NOT SUPPORT LONGEVITY IN RELATIONSHIPS

    Everything up there is trivial and makes for a faulty foundation for the cultivation of family

    Instead they should be choosing men based off of CHARACTER... Is he honest? Is he dependable? Is he Responsible? Is he sincere?

    These are attributes of a persons personality that does not change...A hurricane can destroy my job, and my house...my bank could close...but the person I have become will never change.

    This is how people stay together for 50 years, the world can blow up around you, but the basic reasons why you chose each other remain the same.

    God sends you presentations of men everyday... this is a good man...this is a bad man, and it up to the woman to make the right choice...and she will choose based off of the type of woman she is.

    If the bad man has financial stability, and thats what she's interested in that is what she will choose regardless of HIS character. We've known black women to tolerate infidelity & domestic abuse to stay close to the money...no such luck with a broke man

    The good man may be working his way through college, he may have unmeasurable talent, but doesn't know how to express it. He may live with his mother, and he may not the most sexually mature guy. He doesn't lie, he values his word as a man, and he is responsible. He doesn't like the spotlight, so he's rarely at the club, and he drives a 1998 Lancer...He's dressed in a polo, and khaki's at the sports bar...you look right past him...

    This is the guy that will lead his family to prosperity, not some clown in your face trying to hit it tonight...

    BW don't care about this guy...they're having fun with the clowns they date, when the chance at building prosperity and a family full of legacy passes them by

    Whats really important...financial stability or a father for your children?








    Only a gold digger or a simp would have trouble answering or think twice about this... the answer is obvious to everyone EXCEPT BLACK WOMEN
     
  7. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    *sigh*

    :SuN016::qqb009:


    A now 80% oow birth rate says this argument is selfish and doesnt take the kid(s) into account. The problem is not golddiggers or deadbeats. It's blatant stupidity. :kick: Having oow sex with a male shows that the female does not care about herself or potential child. And before you go to the same for the male argument......DUH! Except, the male usually isnt the one left with the burden of the child. Moreover, the male usually doesnt end up paying child support. So this isnt an argument about one ups menship. It's an argument about another lost generation. The facts are, the female is an unfit mom that goes out and parties. The fact is, the female has chosen a male that didnt care in the 1st place. To then argue that there is somehow is equal irresponsibility is false. Most of the socalled bad males are not held responsible by the females anyway.

    Satan was not kicked out of paradise for tempting Eve. He was not kicked out, because GOD told you not to be with him in the 1st place. He got off. But I digress.

    The solution is to chose better. The solution is to make yourself something a real man wants. The solution is to only date real men and not unmen. The solution is to quit thinking it's ok to be stupid with your body because he was too. But then, I'm being direct. The panderers and enablers are in the room. And in this world 2+2=6.:uhh:












     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    if you ride the # 23 bus in philly as i often do you will see that the problem is deeper than an individual.
    it is systemic. we have large numbers of people who are not equipped to make good decisions.

    if we do not get education for the masses and some kind of employment opportunities, OOW will be the least of our problems.
     
  9. MRLEGEND

    MRLEGEND Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree somewhat with Kemistry...Gold diggers don't care about family, they care about money and self...they will have a family for the right price...and dead beats are dead beats depending on who you hear it from..I've seen spiteful women try to destroy a mans life with the system and kids, simply because he got married...and he was called many things including a deadbeat...

    97% of child custody cases go to women, with the man having to pay child support... I know not one man who has an oow child who is not paying child support...sure the woman try's to say "I can do it by myself, I don't need no man", but all that flies out of the window when the daycare bill hits

    I agree 100% they need to choose better...but look at how far feminism in society has taken us off course...

    Not too long ago a woman would choose and court a man that had the potential to be a great father and husband...because her survival and well being depended on that...

    NOW, A woman can survive on her own, so she can dabble in whatever flavor she wants, she can have sex with a thug, and still go to work and pay her rent...

    The problem with that is that OOPS I had a baby...

    the women in the video share the same mentality of black women today...no matter what they do who you are..you S'POSEDTAH turn into Bill Cosby and be a Great father...
     
  10. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    What many Black men seem to forget is, women don't have to be left holding the burden (as you say), but most women stay and provide for their children the best they know how. Considering to up and run like some is just not perceivable to them. They are taking responsibility for their actions by choice, not by circumstance. Somebody is caring for those children! Thank God!

    I've noticed how you always bring in the statistics for oow births, as if a marriage certificate is going to make all the difference. Divorce rates are up too. And some of those husbands had/have no problem moving on to the next women with no contact with their children. It got so bad that the government had to create a system that forced many men to take responsibility by atleast helping to support their children.

    It's true, some Sisters should get into the practice of making better partner choices. And its also a sad truth that some women are optioning to raise children by themselves, without the father period. I mean dang, all your responses to women issues is blame placed at the feet of women. Now more women are hell bent on finding men who are financially stable first, responsible second, and still some men are complaining that women are superficial gold diggers.

    I mean really, why is this responsibility place solely at the feet of women. Is it so men who don't support and raise their children can have a clear conscious about it? Is it to stop women from screaming and reminding fathers they have children who need daddy's? What i find equally disturbing is how most of the so called thugs, mookies, or whatever you want to call them, aren't complaining until the certified sanction for child support is issued. And some of those "millions of good Black Men" who complain about not finding a good Black woman have had the opportunity for many good women, but brushed them aside for a women who fits that stereo typical super model image of a women. The one who pursued them was not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not porpotioned in the right areas enough, or just not their preference. What do you men say to those women? "I know you are a great women, but i prefer someone a little more physically defined?" :11900:What ever!

    So while some of you men are pointing the finger at women, you got three fingers pointing right back at cha. Black women have been toting the responsibility for those oow children for decades now. She has stood firm in her love and support for the Black Men and their children.

    My suggestion is that both Black Men and Women make better choices. If not for themselves for the possible children that may arrived out of a relationship gone sour.

    :heart:
     
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