Black Poetry : The Time Before That Time

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by deepgrrl, Apr 20, 2002.

  1. deepgrrl

    deepgrrl Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It is the time before that time
    When I cry too easily
    Because everything and all at once
    And last night
    Because it was the time before that time
    The Kentucky Fried Chicken Lady
    Barely escaped with her life
    Because it was almost closing
    And she let the extra crispy get sold out
    Before I could place my order
    When I was standing right there in front of her
    Feeling the time before that time
    And she said “You got to wait
    ‘Cause my memory ain’t too good,
    I can’t remember two orders at a time!”

    And so the other worker’s line got faster service,
    Got the extra crispy
    Got the last of the fresh hot chicken
    with eleven herbs and spices
    that I had driven five miles for in the rain
    While this woman just stared out at me
    From behind a bulletproof glass
    And said “Sorry, all we got left is original thighs.”
    And suddenly she was not a poor-miseducated-Black-sister
    Who-the-System-had-conspired-against-since-the-day-she-was-born.
    No, it was the time before that time
    And she was a loud-mouthed snaggle-toothed
    Fast food sellin’ heifer
    Who stood between me and my g-ddamned chicken!
    And suddenly I knew
    I knew what the bulletproof glass was there for
    Knew it was there to keep my premenstrual *** out of jail
    For the murder of a snaggle-toothed minimum wage heifer
    Over a bucket of freakin' extra crispy.
    And so I walked out to the car
    Cussin and screamin’ about my rights
    (Because rights are very important
    when it’s the time before that time)
    And my quasi-boyfriend who hasn’t
    So much as quasi-phucked me in two whole weeks
    Tells me to calm down calm down
    And No, I scream, I will not calm down
    Because it is the time before that time
    And if you would just be perfect like I need you to
    And if you would just read my mind
    like I expect you to
    then you would know that
    All I really want baby
    All I really need is for you to
    Wrap your arms around me
    And kiss me until the tide rolls in
    And the hunger goes away.
     
  2. Derrick Jay

    Derrick Jay Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    whoo lawd...understanding how to feed that real hunger, the kind that chocolate can't rub and chicken won't touch...

    i loved this...

    One,
    Derrick Jay
     
  3. alyce

    alyce Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ooh I'm so feeling this...I C U my sista/Poet/Queen...and your voice is all up in my ear! (Derrick Jay, my brotha...yeah, everythang you just said and then some)

    Scribe!

    alyce

    :heart:
     
  4. deepgrrl

    deepgrrl Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    alyce: yeah, even we poetic souls have "dem days", don't we? Thank you for letting me know you can identify! I always appreciate your responses.

    Derrick: I was wondering if the brothers were gonna get this one! LOL
     
  5. lpoet

    lpoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The Kentucky Fried Chicken Lady
    Barely escaped with her life
    Because it was almost closing
    And she let the extra crispy get sold out
    Before I could place my order

    that part had me rollin along with the snagel touthed heifer part

    but on the real.........i like this the end brought the whole thing
    together..........real good poem here i didnt even expect that
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    woooooweeeee!!! speechless u scribe a piece so masterful
     
  7. Legendof_1_Spirit

    Legendof_1_Spirit Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ...>floats in>

    And to think this all came to a head when the extra crispy got sold out before your very eyes...talk about the straw that broke the camel's back. I really enjoyed this, very different and well written. I could literally see the tension building behind the words. Very descriptive too, I saw the KFC lady over on Sepulveda, while I was reading this. The only difference is she's latino (much like everyone else here in the valley).
    I really love these lines and the way they move and grow:
    "And suddenly she was not a poor-miseducated-Black-sister
    Who-the-System-had-conspired-against-since-the-day-she-was-born.
    No, it was the time before that time
    And she was a loud-mouthed snaggle-toothed
    Fast food sellin’ heifer
    Who stood between me and my g-ddamned chicken! "

    You really worked those words. But it wasn't good enough, you had to change the direction and end with:
    "All I really want baby
    All I really need is for you to
    Wrap your arms around me
    And kiss me until the tide rolls in
    And the hunger goes away."
    Now that was/is smooth. From KFC chicken to a kiss topped with a tender loving embrace...brilliant!

    Perhaps you should get your boyfriend some "clue cards" or "look I need some loving attention here-post-it notes", because some brothers can't see the sky for the trees, and reading between the lines get hard sometimes. Every guy should know that a hug (not one of those simple pat on the back type hugs, but a deep let me drown you in my arms type hug) topped off with a kiss can almost defuse and smooth-over just about any situation. Whew and a hug in the rain, man I'm giving myself the vapors just thinking about it.
    Ok, ok, let me get back to the poem.

    Really enjoyed the read, and loved the flow and the tone. And like I said the ending, was/is...the icing on the cake.

    <floats out<...
     
  8. Euphoria

    Euphoria Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I believe this is the first poem I've read of yours grrl and I was/am very impressed. It's a truly original piece, with a nice flow and great visuals. I'll be on the look out for more of your pieces from now on.
    *Emma*
     
  9. eternal

    eternal Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lol....
    Very visual, and I can understand the vibe...
    Stepped on thin ice she did, and the poor snaggle-tooth heifer didn't even know it...
    Eternal
    (I like everything that you have written, I can't always respond but please believeme I will try in time!!!
     
  10. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    feeling this piece grrl cause i been there
    i especially liked the part:

    And suddenly I knew
    I knew what the bulletproof glass was there for
    Knew it was there to keep my premenstrual *** out of jail

    peace
    now i know why that glass is there

    [email protected]
     
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