Black Relationships : The Superego

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by truetothecause, Apr 21, 2009.

  1. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The Superego

    The superego makes up a large part of our unconscious. It is the part of us that makes us conform to particular rules, that makes us "behave." It judges us, criticizes us, and makes us feel bad when we do something "wrong." It is what makes us feel guilty and ashamed. It is our "inner critic" or "inner judge."

    Our superego tells us things like that we shouldn't break things, not be rude to people, and say "please." It tells us which ways to sit, walk and talk are not appropriate. It tells us not to be lazy, to be cooperative and that we should do like we're told.

    It judges us for whether or not we conform to the rules. Next to making us feel guilty and ashamed, it makes us feel stupid, idiotic, foolish, thick, dense, and a loser. That is, if we do not suppress these painful feelings.

    While the superego has our best interest in mind, it is not a friendly character.

    We usually hardly notice the superego controlling us. We just "know" we shouldn't do certain things, and we shy away from them, or we just know that we "must" do things. Most of it is, in fact, unconscious.

    Formation of the superego

    Most of the superego is formed during our upbringing. Our parents taught us what is right and wrong, what we should and shouldn't do, what is normal and what not. To get us to accept the rules, we were forced in various subtle and not so subtle ways, like by punishment, being shamed, or being degraded for doing something wrong. This is what's formed into the superego.

    It's not only our parents, but, in fact, many other people too in our early environment that pressured us to abide by certain rules. Adults in positions of authority, as well as other children. And people still pressure us to when we are adults, when they act out their superegos on us, as we do on them.

    The superego is kind of the sum of all people that have tried to make us behave according to certain rules in the past.

    The need for the superego

    Children aren't much capable of themselves to see the consequences of their actions. They need to be taught to abide by certain rules, or else they or others get hurt or worse, things get damaged, or things go wrong. They need to be taught to take responsibility.

    Therefore, it is unavoidable and beneficial that children develop a superego. There is a need for it to be a guide through people's lives.

    When the superego works against us

    Sometimes we feel that we are guilty of something, when in truth there is nothing wrong with what we did. We may feel guilty for being lazy, when there really is no work to do. We can feel stupid for not knowing how to do something, when we never actually had an opportunity to learn it. Children are known to feel irrationally guilty for the death of relatives, or for parents divorcing.

    Sometimes we need to be assertive, like when sales people or telemarketers intrude on us and treat us manipulatively. But if they seem nice, which they usually make great efforts to, we are inclined not to assert ourselves, because our superego stops us from being rude.

    The superego isn't particularly precise. It may tell us not to do certain things when there is objectively nothing wrong with doing them. Thus, it is an aspect of us that can limit us more than necessary.


    http://www.eclecticenergies.com/ego/superego.php


    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  2. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    very good,i haven't read this much about the[superego]since my college days.
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    from the # 23 bus....somewhere in north philly

    :SuN033: i would have to say that the superego is held well in check......
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    BTW:

    ID you is or ID you ain't........?
     
  5. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    do ID really matter?
     
  6. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey oldiesman! and Brother Jamesfrmmyhometown!

    OF COURSE the "ID" matters. In FACT...I would say it's the MOST IMPORTANT PART...because the "ID" represents the CHILD.
    and..."It's ALL ABOUT THE YOUTH" (Macka B)

    With that said for now....the site I drew this info from does not provide a summary of the "ID".

    It has been a LONG TIME for me as well Brother oldiesman...with reviewing these "foundations" of psychology and the psychological make-up of our minds....from THIS PERSPECTIVE and language.

    I have always sorta of filtered through the technical terms and use terms I am most familiar with and which I can explain to folks when I'm working with them. My approach is pretty "unconventional" and does NOT follow the "status-quo".

    Still..the "ID" is the "child", the "Ego" the adult/mature part and the "Super-Ego" is the Authority figure....of the SELF...

    It's the "ID" we come into the world with. Basic instincts...survival...a baby is hungry...he/she CRIES..if she/he is wet or messy...they CRY to draw attention to a need...basic need for COMFORT.

    As we grow...we LEARN from the people in our lives..what to do, how to do, when to do to get that which we DESIRE...We LEARN to temper those desires in the face of the needs of OTHERS in our lives. HOW people "teach" us forms the basis for our "personality"...this is coupled with our BASE LINE temperment/pre-programmed personality..which can become severely ALTERED if/when the people "raising" us are unaware or out of tune with KNOWING the child came into the world prepared to DO something....natural, god-given gifts/talents/purpose.

    The child gets' DUMPED on..other's people's PLAN for their life along with other people's SH.....their THOUGHTS, FEELINGS and styles of BEHAVING in the world.

    This is too much typing for me!...and I'm thinking..... "a video dialogue coming" because I LIKE talking and sense I do a more thorough job of explaining my self....just don't like the 10 minute limit and become pressured in my speech due to time constraints.

    Anywho....It's ALL about the "ID"....how s/he is cared for, taught, encouraged, validated as "good enough" early on because what happens during those "FORMative years is crucial.
    Why do people think programs back in the 60's, 70's and 80's were focused on "children and youth":?: As in "head start" and now "early head start":?:

    That's all for now...Thanks for Sharing and Listening to me Share!

    M.E
    :hearts2:
     
  7. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    Me too! And these posts from True reminded me of different "thinking styles."
     
  8. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hey true,i was just being funny.
     
  9. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    guess I missed the joke

    about what:?:
    and....what is the point of saying so now:?:

    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  10. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    Amen! And we so need to get back to that concentration!

    I have said for a long time that parents and our society just doesn't aim to protect the innocence of children.