Black Jokes Humor : The Smiths

Discussion in 'Black Jokes Humor' started by dstny, May 18, 2005.

  1. dstny

    dstny Well-Known Member MEMBER

    May 27, 2004
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    >> The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to
    >start their
    >> family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed
    >his wife
    >> and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".
    >> Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
    >photographer rang
    >> the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't
    >know me
    >> but I've come to...."
    >> "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
    >> "Really ?" the photographer asked. "Well, good ! I've made a
    >specialty of
    >> babies."
    >> "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
    >> Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. "Leave
    >everything to
    >> me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps
    >a couple
    >> on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can
    >> spread out."
    >> "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry
    >and me."
    >> "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But
    >if we try
    >> several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
    >I'm sure
    >> you'll be pleased with the results."
    >> "I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
    >"Madam, in
    >> my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and
    >out in five
    >> minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
    >> "Don't I know !!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
    >> The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
    >his baby
    >> pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
    >> "Oh my god!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
    >> "And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider
    >their mother
    >> was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith
    >> picture.
    >> "She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
    >> "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get
    >the job
    >> done right. People were crowding around four and five deep,
    >pushing to
    >> get a good look."
    >> "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
    >> "Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too.
    >The mother
    >> was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
    >> darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
    >> began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
    >> Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your,
    >> ?".
    >> "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod
    >so that we
    >> can get to work."
    >> "Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
    >> "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too
    >big for
    >> me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam ?
    >> Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted !!" :baby:
  2. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

    United States
    Jan 14, 2003
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    Poor Mrs. Smith, Lol.