A man was driving home from work. It was a two hour commute. He found himself feeling really horny. As he drove along the urge became stronger until he could hardly stand it. He didn't think he could make it home to his wife. He noticed he was driving part a pumpkin patch so he pulled over picked up a pumpkin, cut a hole in it and started going to town. A cop asked him why he was screwing a pumpkin. The man looked down shocked. "Is it midnight already?!"