Black People : The Sacredness of Virginity

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by MasterDJ, Sep 13, 2008.

  1. MasterDJ

    MasterDJ Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    After reading many threads throughout Destee pertaining to relationships and intimacy it seems as if the preservation of one's virginity is no longer a goal. For the record let me clear up any preconcieved misconceptions...when I refer to virginity I am speaking to both male and female because many times we as men shrug it off as if we have a God given right to "hit" anything that moves and women a.k.a women who want to be "wifey material" should be concerned with preserving their innocence.

    Now, of course we can attack this discussion from a religious angle, whether it be Islamic, Christian, Judaic, Hindu or etc but that is not my goal in this particular forum. Lets take this from a standpoint of pure logic instead.

    Lets begin with one of the most obvious reasons by acknowledging the factors of std's whether it be man-made or laboratory made. This principle boils down to simple mathematics. The less exposure you have to a possibly harmful environment the less risk or chance you have of contracting anything from that environment. This is precise, clear-cut and needs no analysis because the concept speaks for itself and proves itself.

    Secondly, we have to remember that a true and healthy relationship is not built around sex. A healthy relationship is built on the basis of a strong friendship, common ground, and Vibes a.k.a vibrations. No one wants to "knock boots" with anyone they can't talk with afterwards due to annoyance or stupidity. Situations like that only last for so long before they come crashing down. Most mature adults need someone who, after the sex session is completed, can manage money, make money, communicate properly, have fun, knows when to be serious, can properly raise a family and more. If you think someone who is only majestic in bed but a dunce in life is the right man or woman for you then good luck! However, those of us who appreciate and desire the entire package understand that recognizing and in some cases developing these traits in our partners takes time and sometimes a lot of time. It is my assertion that all other things line up properly before the sex and sex serves as the icing on the cake.

    Third, imagine this. You have been dating someone for about two years now without sex. This person is ready for a commitment of marriage and you happily accept or they happily accept (for the men)! The two of you finally release that two year build up of desire and let each other have:whip:! Now 1 of two things are gonna happen. Either you will realize that your partner is everything you thought he or she would be plus some or you find out that your partner is only decent in bed if not whack. Now for those who experienced the fantasmic pleasure either that person is actually pretty good or you conserved your virginity and since you have nothing to compare it to you think the person is really good...either way that is your reality due to your perception. Now for those who experience the latter, CONGRATULATIONS, due to your non-conservation of your virginity you now have several ex-partners to compare your new spouses sex too and it just so happens you have had several other better experiences so now you are disappointed. This example may sound fictitious but many many people are faced with this experience every day.

    Fourth, as far as finding your true life partner, shouldn't we all be able to give our spouses something that no one else has ever given or can give. If you think you have money someone has more. If you think you have jokes, someone has better. No matter what you choose someone can always match or trump you unless you give them your body and your spirit. For those who preserve their virginity they can honestly tell their life partners, "Baby I can give you something that no man or woman on this earth can give you...and that is my body and my soul"! Now thats a hell of way to kick a session off if you ask me and trust me fellas...LOL you will definately be in for a few treats...I know from experience!

    Fifth, there is an old saying that whoever you lose your virginity to you will forever be head over heels about for the rest of your life. Now I am not sure how valid that statement actually is but it does serve as another illustration. Every person that you have intercourse with takes a piece of you with them whether you stay together or break up. Think about the last time your nose was running and you asked a small child to bring you some tissue so you could blow your nose. Come to find out upon the childs return they bring you one square off of the tissue roll and we look at it and just laugh because we know that their intentions were good but it didn't quite fit your expectations. I believe that many times we handle our sex lives in the same fashion. Someone who decided to take their time and wait in life expects at least a full 5 square of tissue and we come to them with whats left after our many experiences and it equates to that one square and in some cases less. Only to find out that the person that seemed so perfect looks at you and laughs while saying, " Thanks but no thanks."

    Lastly, speaking from a scientific level or even to those occultic students. We all know that the act of sex is a bond due to the fact that we exchange blood with one another from the act alone. The women bleeds because of her first penetration and the man bleeds through his semen or ejaculation. Just think about it from a sanitary and scientific level. How many blood swaps do you really wanna have? Or how many bonds do you really want to create?

    Please feel free to respond...Thanks for reading!
     
  2. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Very descriptive, I might say. Much of what is stated are true reasons any should understand why they shouldn't jump into having sex just because the occasion seemingly calls for it; whether it be that you two really feel for each other and are alone or whether you are just feeling very lustful.

    Now, I don't place all emphasis on virginity of the body because the carnal things only matter so much; it's the Spiritual that holds true.

    However, fornication is a sin against the body, the very Temple you call your home as you dwell this earth, so if one has not gotten into it, they definitely should look at all reasons not to; that is what you've presented and, of course, many more. :)
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Great Thread! :toast:

    Thanks Sister Angela for bringing it back up ... gosh ... i wooda missed it all !!!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    [​IMG]what is this all about..lol...:lol: I will respond later.
     
  5. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What I find interesting is that this conversation is ALWAYS about women remaining virgins but never men. And it is usually men who are promoting this rather than women....
     
  6. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Not always, especially in this one which is nice.:)


    Many women do promote it, but sometimes other women ignore them because they'd rather a man's opinion and point of view since that's who they plan to be with, over all. And I know plenty men who despise virginity in men(calling them punks) and women(saying they can't please); pretty harsh for virgins because then they feel urged to get with as many men as possible.
     
  7. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So what is the purpose of virginity anyway? I see no value in it from any aspect. Sex is the only endeavor where folks want you to NOT have previous experience...
     
  8. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Plenty of people look for previous experience when it comes to sex. Do men line up at strip joints or at virgins' houses? They are looking for the experience. Women want for it also, in many cases.

    The purpose in virginity is respect to your very body and the one who you'll be with in your lifetime; they know you haven't been had by everyone as if your body, which is your Temple, was an open night club or some common toy to be played around with by everyone.

    However, as I stated in my previous post, virginity of the Spirit has more weight than the carnal body, I believe. So even if one did sleep with many men or women, they shouldn't be judged by their fellow man or woman as never being able to slow down nor as permanent whores or pimps.
     
  9. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    An elderly lady who was 92 was a virgin....she was featured in our local paper. For her it was like a rare coin...
    The sad thing is that women are being ridiculed by males and females IF they choose to remain virgins. I think that the idea is for women to be virgins and not men...it is much easier to find a woman who is a virgin than a man...People might assume that if a man is a virgin..HE MUST BE GAY. In today's world women try to belong and think that giving themselves away automatically means that a particular guy will remain with them. This couldn't be further from the truth. If a woman is a virgin and she believes that she intends to be this way until she is married, IF a man truly loves her he will WAIT. The truth is that if she does not give in she has lost nothing..but gained everything, but when she gives in, there is no reason for the man to remain with her...Most men have this idea that they are not BUYING A PIG IN A POKE...to me this is trivialising sex. Many men will try to have sex with women virgins or not...BUT you will always find that they will seek a special woman to be their wife.
     
  10. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That is very rare to happen at such an age. And the idea in this thread is for both to be virgins, and also, the idea for everyone should be to remain virginal. Men get no pass for defiling their Temple no more than a woman, so we all should encourage and not tempt.

    And yes, being a virgin means you have lost nothing at all. Whether a man or woman stay or go, you are intact and in waiting for the right one.
     
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