Question: What is meant by "honest criticism" and would the opposite of that be dishonest criticism? I'm curious.
But sure there's a way to offer criticism but it all depends on whether you intend for it to be constructive or destructive. I prefer the constructive kind. But even as much as I like to think that I have demonstrated constructive criticism here at Destee.com, on occasion I've been told where something I've written has offended people. Being told that always surprises me, but never offends me and I don't get defensive and leap all over the person telling me that.
Regardless of what our intent is, we must always be cognizant of the potential impact that our words have when people hear them or read them. Even though you may not have intended to offend anyone, if someone tells you that you did, I think we should always apologize and try to communicate better in the future. That's how we build bridges.
If someone is offended by anything I say to them, I would prefer it if they would tell me so that we can discuss it maturely. To sit and pout or stop speaking is immature in my opinion. To be rude and hurl personal insults is ignorant, in my opinion. I'm sure there are people here who have done that. I know when I was younger and didn't know any better, I used to. Many of us can stand to benefit from anger management seminars because we have learned to hold our anger inside until it suddenly explodes when we feel we're being attacked. There are better ways of handling a situation other than lashing out or shutting down at the slightest difference of opinion.
If you're not sure what someone means when they speak or write to you, learn how to seek clarification first before you make assumptions. It's better to find out what a person's intent was before you let them know how they made you feel. If you know that someone meant to be offensive, you still don't have to act the same way. I would suggest that people try to find the most effective words to tell the person, so that the situation doesn't escalate into an argument or worse.
I also think that, sometimes people try to convince themselves that they respect other opinions when they really don't. So the minute someone disagrees with them, they immediately think they're being criticized when they may not be.
The sender and the receiver must take responsibility for what they say and what they hear.
Queenie
