Hello Brother Lloyd...
I myself used to be very angry with my mother as well, even though she was the one who was there and from the age of 7 on up, my father was not there. As I grew older and began to observe my Mamas life, I began to see that not only was she my Mama, but that she was actually and individual. Mama used to be a child too, Mama has some negative aspects of childhood too, that she may have brought into adulthood as well. Mama could use some understanding as well. Also, Mama is capable of making mistakes too, let me explain...
My mother is the youngest girl child of 10 siblings and she was a Daddy's little girl. When her parents split, my grandma got remarried and left my mother with her oldest sister to finish out being raised. At that time my mother was only the age 14 in need of her own mother, not her sister, and she was also at a loss for her father. My mother had to grow up really fast and when she had me and my sister, she was the age 24. Age 24 with two children. I have good memories of my Mama and lot's of bad memories of her as well. However there is one thing I can say about her, she did her absolute best raising me and my siblings as she could, and knew to the best of her knowledge, to do. No mother say's, I want to be a bad mama to my children, no mother say's that at all.
You are an adult now so you don't have to live with you mother which is a good thing but from what I am hearing, you really love your mother and want to be close to her and your other family members as well. I know that it upsets you what your Mother said to your friend in front of you but your mother wishes that she had done better by you and believe you me, she feels bad. If she didn't, she wouldn't be coming around you trying to help you when she can, she would just be done with you. More than likely she was jealous of your female friend because she felt threatened by the love you would give to your friend, instead of her. At that moment she snapped not realizing that fighting over you would not give her brownie points towards a better relationship with you. Again you don't live with her so you can love her from a distance.
I said all of that to say this, if you can forgive anyone, it should be your Mama. It's hard for a woman to raise kids alone with all the stress taking place in this world. The hurt your mother placed on you will be something that you may never let go. However, if you go on in life so angry with her it will only even more so effect you mentally and emotionally which is not good for your health. I just not long ago had to forgive my father for his not being there in my life when I really needed him. I was going around hurting inside because I could not let go what he did. Now that I have forgiven him, I am much more mentally and emotionally freer. My father didn't have a good childhood either so I had to be just as understanding towards him, as I was my mother.
To answer your question, what does Mama mean in our life. Mama means Mama. The first woman and feminine principal that we first experience. We want her to be perfect and she does her best. One thing that is perfect about her is that she went through extreme pain to carry us for 9 months and then push us out into the world.
Astrologer4U
Wow!!!!
That's what comes to mind after reading what your mum had to go through.And out of a suddent i feel....selfish;i mean,there are so many people out there with more challenges that do much better than me concerning relationships.
I admit that,for my mother's sake,i should do something to recreate links of peace and love.I admire you,and the fact that you say " Mama used to be a child too, Mama has some negative aspects of childhood too, that she may have brought into adulthood as well. Mama could use some understanding as well. Also, Mama is capable of making mistakes too " gives me another vision of who my mum can be.Maybe i was just expecting the perfect woman -smile-.
I'm a little bit afraid of calling her on the phone - she may be harsh because of all those months without news and especially for that "i hate you" that i gave her. OMG!-
Anyway,i'm gonna try it!I'm crossing my fingers and praying God at the same time.After that,i hope i will be able to help young people facing this kind of situation.
Thanks a million;your experience enlighted me