The other day I read an article in a woman’s magazine about the ideal man and I must admit that I was impressed. The man described was a man that even I would like to be. He was honest and trustworthy, people oriented, loved children, generous, compelling and strong. It was the kind of man that would make a good hero. In fact, minus a few barroom brawls and shooting an occasional bad guy, he existed in the movies. He was the Lone Ranger, the Cisco Kid, The Rifleman and Marshall Dillon. These were the men the article described. They were rugged, tough and distantly attractive. There was no doubt of their character or moral fiber. The stood for all the right things and would fight to correct the things that were wrong. I thought the article pretty much described even my idea of the ideal man except for one thing—after thinking about it for a while I decided that I wouldn’t want to be that man but I’d want him for a friend, a leader or even as a father. My envy ended there and I believe a lot of women’s wants would be changed if they ever managed to capture this man because they would go to an early grave dying of shear boredom. This is not an idle thought. It is based of years of simple observation of relationships between men and women including my own. Over the years, I have watched the women and the men the sexes choose and most of them do not fit the mold of ideal romantic partnerships as expressed by the popular media. Most don’t fit the molds, not because they don’t exist, they do, but because as much stability, character and uprightness any man brings to a relationship without a little bit of soul or grit, it is all for naught. During my relatively brief years on this planet the one thing I have discovered about humankind is our contradiction of spirit and flesh and our willingness to subordinate one for the other in the belief that by avoiding one we can ensure the other, when in reality the opposite is more likely to be true. In the morality based upon Judeo-Christian principles happiness is often a compromise. What is considered ethical and polite in this country is often considered silly and foolish in other cultures. Still, in the area of women’s rights, the United States is considered to be enlightened. In my opinion, neither men nor women have any true idea of what makes them happy in a relationship. I believe they are influenced by the media, their friends, their religions and even their families, but even with that amount of input, there are too many people who are in unhappy relationships because of the choices they have made. I have observed that often the happiest relationships are often those where the partners seem to be mismatched according to some public balance that is inscribed somewhere in our unconsciousness. We judge couples and wonder “how could she be with him?” or how could he be with her?” We see men of less than sterling character coupled with women who would be considered perfect mates and vice versa. I have watched men whom I believed to the be the perfect husband or boyfriend become engrossed with women that I know are no good for them, but they remain together. I have quit question why it happened and accepted that it happens. On the other hand I have watched the marriages made in heaven dissolve into bitterness, infidelity, hostility and rage even though the couple remains together in a relationship that is dead except no one has buried it yet. It is the perfect man aligned with the perfect woman. Yet, somehow it does not seem to work. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending upon your view point human beings tend to be contrary in their natures and never seem to follow the prudent path or often find that the most prudent path is path that leads nowhere except to boredom, dissatisfaction and tiredness. After viewing the ways of mate selection, I fully believe there is no ideal man or woman who will make the perfect mate. Relationships are like plants they must be nurtured constantly in order for them to grow productively. In addition, too much of a good thing is an ultimate ticket to death of the soul. Unfortunately, I feel that these articles designed especially for women are way off base. They are pointing to ideals that are only possible in the movies and fiction. Relationships are not made by ideal men or women, they are made by men and women who have ideals and are willing to change, work and do what ever is necessary for the relationship to be a success.