Black People : The Pain of a son in jail

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by dunwiddat, Dec 12, 2012.

  1. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A couple months ago, a lady who lived up the street from me. Had to deal with something that no mother would ever like to deal with.

    Her son stabbed to death his stepfather (her husband) She has lost a son who is in jail and a husband who is dead.

    I realise that having step fathers and step children can be a bit difficult... I am not sure what caused the whole sad affair...but I can only imagine the pain the lady is going through. I have know her for many years, and she was a quiet soft spoken women...

    As a child growing up I have seen instances where women have had to sacrifice their children for the love of a man...I remembered a friend of mine, she had a son when she was 18. She met this man who became her husband and he told her she cannot keep him. She then sent him to his grandmother. She eventually gave birth to a daughter for her husband.

    I am not sure what cause the conflict in the street in my neighbourhood, but there are times when men want women to choose between love for them and their children. This is a hard act to balance. Another case as I was growing up. A woman had to hide to give her son food, whilst the husband would want the wife to cook and give the step son .. (the step son's mother had died years before)

    For a man to think that a woman can just forget about her own child/children is unconscionable. When a woman has been divorced or in a relationship that has ended, every mother who is caring realise that those children must be taken care of.. For a man to ask her to choose is adding more pain to the already stressful situation.

    I made a deliberate choice after my divorce that my children will have all of my attention.. When my ex and I were separated, my last son was fourteen still in high school.. I made the choice that I will be there for them. I decided to put my own feelings on hold for the time being.. I have seen how children react when step fathers or step mothers come into the equation. I know there are cases where step children/step parents have become like one family and that is a good thing.

    In the early sixties, many mothers left children here with grandparents after they emigrated to England and the USA. For those children they felt abandoned, even though father and mother were together.. I can just imagine the thought of children where a mother is FORCED to give her child up just for the sake of love for a man/husband. I will never allow this thinking to be part of my life and I really feel sorry for those women who are caught in a bind.
     
  2. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Western Patriarchy is all about Women and Children as Property and the Supremacy of Individualism. The Abandoning Women are merely Imitating Europeans.
     
  3. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ABSiblings.....when are we going to stop blaming everything on white folks...don't black folks have a choice in what they do. The abandoning of black women is a BLACK PROBLEM...white folks are not responsible for what black people do...this is 2012..and I believe that we have to begin lay aside the blame and begin to do what we need to do. Aare black folks mindless creatures with no mind of their own. To me blaming white folks for what we need to do is a cop out.
     
  4. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    dunwiddat, "Judge by Cause, not by Effect."

    That you are in Barbados and not Ghana is cause enough for your situation. Do you realize, for instance, that in 1790 Indigenous Africans were manufacturing their own cotton, soap, indigo, lances, instruments, growing their own food, living to ninety years of age, clothing themselves, practicing their own culture, respecting their ancestors and raising children communally?

    If Africans in 2012 are only consuming European cotton, soap, indigo, lances, instruments, not growing their own food, living only to thirty years of age, being clothed by others, practicing a European culture, disrespecting their ancestors and hardly raising children; it's not rocket science as to why.

    You may need to read more, dunwiddat.

    Because, for the record, Europeans abandon their wives and children often. It's imitation that Africans do too. That's not blaming White people. That's stating a well-known fact.

    You need to read more.

    But know that your Ignorance to the Causes is also due the European's teaching of you and yours.
     
  5. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    My G- Ma had to do the same with her first daughter. She sent her daughter away to live with her parents.

    When my G-Ma got pregnant with my mother, my GG-Pa made my G-Pa marry her. From what i was told, it was a shot gun wedding. My G-Pa didn't want to take care of no one else's child. At least that's what he told her. My G-Pa was very abusive to my G-Ma. MY G-Ma died at a very young age. She was sick and unhappy.

    My Aunt who was sent away held alot of resentment toward my Mother. She blamed my G-Ma's death on her. She was only 10 when her mother passed. My Aunt must have blamed my Mom and her siblings for being separated from her Mother.

    Its very sad indeed. When my Mom left Alabama, it was years b4 she even talked about her family. I must have been about 12 when she told us she had an older sister. Unfortunately, she too had died at a young age in a car crash; leaving behind a daughter.

    :heart:
     
  6. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I read more than you may think....the opening post dealt with women who make a choice in abandoning their children for a man /husband they love... I realise that your comprehension skills are very low. As such this is the end of my discussion. It seems you do need to read and understand what someone has written instead of jumping off with your version of what afflict black folks. You seem not have a very good grasp of the English language. Perhaps you need to visit a library.
     
  7. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Reading is not the deterrent to Ignorance: Knowledge is.

    You are an African woman in Barbados who told an African in America to not relate a cultural problem with the European who colonized, kidnapped and terrorized your people for over five-hundred years. That's called Ignorance.

    As far as reading comprehension, you need to point out when I used the word "blame." I said that Africans imitate Europeans. Your description of a woman leaving her children for a man is an imitation of European mores. How? In traditional African culture the MAN goes to the WOMAN. In a situation where a WOMAN goes to a MAN, that's an imitation of a non-African people.

    You can read until the cows come home. Until you develop a greater Knowledge-base, don't mis-accuse people of "Blaming Europeans" or the other Ignorant accusations you made.

    Again In traditional African culture the MAN goes to the WOMAN. The problem you pointed out relates to Africans imitating Europeans, where the WOMAN goes to the MAN.

    I'm so shocked you'd accuse me of reading comprehension, yet you wrote in your title "The pain of a son in jail" and wrote the subject dealing with a "woman abandoning her child." You're giving me English lessons! That's insulting!
     
  8. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Have you lived in Africa you come here spouting a lot of long talk and have nothing to share but a lot of ole talk... Why don't you go to Haiti and see what you can do for those folks...you spend too much time behind a pc ..perhaps you are getting tired...you need a rest..take a walk and enjoy life. I have a life other than here on this site...Hope you do too.
    The topic is the pain of a son in jail, I could have phrased it any other way....I realise more than ever that you REALLY do not understand English....
     
  9. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ignorance . . ..

    Everyone has a life.

    I'm writing some of the best English you will read.

    This is a talk site.

    All you wrote was ignorance.

    Good Day!
     
  10. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    SAME TO YOU:mad:
     
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