A couple months ago, a lady who lived up the street from me. Had to deal with something that no mother would ever like to deal with. Her son stabbed to death his stepfather (her husband) She has lost a son who is in jail and a husband who is dead. I realise that having step fathers and step children can be a bit difficult... I am not sure what caused the whole sad affair...but I can only imagine the pain the lady is going through. I have know her for many years, and she was a quiet soft spoken women... As a child growing up I have seen instances where women have had to sacrifice their children for the love of a man...I remembered a friend of mine, she had a son when she was 18. She met this man who became her husband and he told her she cannot keep him. She then sent him to his grandmother. She eventually gave birth to a daughter for her husband. I am not sure what cause the conflict in the street in my neighbourhood, but there are times when men want women to choose between love for them and their children. This is a hard act to balance. Another case as I was growing up. A woman had to hide to give her son food, whilst the husband would want the wife to cook and give the step son .. (the step son's mother had died years before) For a man to think that a woman can just forget about her own child/children is unconscionable. When a woman has been divorced or in a relationship that has ended, every mother who is caring realise that those children must be taken care of.. For a man to ask her to choose is adding more pain to the already stressful situation. I made a deliberate choice after my divorce that my children will have all of my attention.. When my ex and I were separated, my last son was fourteen still in high school.. I made the choice that I will be there for them. I decided to put my own feelings on hold for the time being.. I have seen how children react when step fathers or step mothers come into the equation. I know there are cases where step children/step parents have become like one family and that is a good thing. In the early sixties, many mothers left children here with grandparents after they emigrated to England and the USA. For those children they felt abandoned, even though father and mother were together.. I can just imagine the thought of children where a mother is FORCED to give her child up just for the sake of love for a man/husband. I will never allow this thinking to be part of my life and I really feel sorry for those women who are caught in a bind.