The breathless anxiety is making me short of breath my pulse races along with furious current my midnight is being intruded on by dawns breaking light do I welcome it or fear it??? I'm so accustomed to emotional isolation.... I don’t know what to make of these feelings.. obstructing my thoughts with a barrage of questions and uncertainties making me want to reach for hope...but suspicious of these strange sensations.. I cling desperately to my habits of harboring my affections. Usually when something seems to good to be true...it is: how can I expect something so tried and true to change? I could be a pioneer, a trailblazer...and aspire for things to work my way but I stand a good chance of being devastated again my warmth and compassion is being replaced with darkness and cold coldness is good for it’s numbing power....stopping pain.... And pleasure... which is worse...constant worry and uneasiness, or eternal loneliness and suppression of passion? My mind is clouded with mental aphrodisiacs and intellectual stimulation.... but am I blinded by my own desires? Being toyed with mercilessly...a prisoner to romance...? I should barricade my heart against everything but I would lose everything I consist of.... I’m caught in a obscure labyrinth..... Derrick H.