The Needs of Interracial Children?

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by Sodwn2earth, Jun 6, 2005.

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  1. Sodwn2earth

    Sodwn2earth Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Just the other day I was out with my mother eating breakfast, and a large interracial family walks into our dining area and takes a seat. My back was turned to them so I couldn't really see, but she looks at them and says " It's nothing worse then to see a mother who can't fix her child's hair." Now of course that's bad, but it was in the context of the situation. The child's mother was white. It made me wonder if interracial parents consider the needs of their mixed children before actually having the child? What do you think of this?
     
  2. BioRhythm

    BioRhythm Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I doubt that they do..... considering myself.. I know that if i were to have a child with someone out of my race... one of the considerations wouldn't have been if she could do the childs hair... I mean.. yeah its selfish... but you made me think... does anyone whether interacial... or same race consider the child's future or how the child would feel in each situation?

    I've taken such things into consideration before... i just doubt i would have then...
     
  3. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    There are many black women that don't know how to manage their hair. They go to a beautician and take their kids along with them. Not knowing how to style hair doesn't make you a bad mother.

    As far as the needs of a biracial child.. their needs are pretty much like anyone elses. The problem comes when the parent or parents encourages them to identify more with the 'accepted' race than the one that isn't 'accepted.' If a half-white half-black child identifies themselves as 'white' well, of course they're going to have problems because whites in general still see you as black. If they identify as black then they will have less problems.
     
  4. Kingpin

    Kingpin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think that it all depends on what traits you have recieved from your parents as to which side you will be more comfortable on. Ideally you are better off claiming both. I know this sounds a little strange but if you dont have predominately black/white features than it is very difficult to fit into any one area. People in general are going to see you as mixed race. You should embrace this and not hide what you are. and what you are is 50% one race and 50% another race so you really can't identify with one over the other.
     
  5. Ledda

    Ledda Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've seen many white mothers who were at a loss with what to do with their child's hair when it came out more on the nappy side. If they were mixed boys they'd just cut their hair, but if they were girls they had problems. I once worked in a department store and a white lady came through my check out with her mixed daughter and was buying a brush. The lady seemed to be really distressed and said, "If this doesn't work on your hair I don't know what to do!" I told her I could help her, trying not to laugh in her face. I also knew anothe white woman with a little girl and I did the child's hair and she asks me, "How did you do that?" I had to show her how to comb her child's hair. Recently a young white girl asked me what she should do with her baby daughter's hair because the child's dad's sister was telling her that she couldn't wash her hair everyday like she was a white kid. I guess not all white women are like that though. I disagree that people in general view mixed race children as 50% white and 50% black, especially whites. At least that's not how where I'm from. Most white people view them as black. Point, period, blank. So I do think that before a white woman has a biracial child she should be prepared to know that child will have a very different view of his or her life than the way she was raised, that the child may not be accepted in the same way she was by her family and peers, and that it's important the child be taught of their black heritage and ancestory as well as educated in black history. I once knew a boy during childhood who was plainly mixed and lived with his grandmother because his mother's white husband refused to have him live with them in their house. We were playing once and he got mad and called us "*******". We just looked at him and were like, "So? You are too." And he was like, "No I'm not." I told him, "Look in the mirror when you go home. The next time your cousins come over look at them and look at yourself. You don't look like them." So we all went home and I suppose he acked his grandma if it was true and she told him that it wasn't. he came the next day and said his grandma told him he was white. I told him his grandma was lying because my grandma knows his mama and daddy. After a few weeks of him questioning her, his grandmother finally told him the truth.
     
  6. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Talk about having an identity crisis!
     
  7. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    The black community in general has been more accepting of biracials, so long as the biracial person acknowledges them. I don't even think there's too much of a problem with a biracial verbally acknowledging both racial bloodlines.... it's when he or she aligns more with the 'other' side that causes problems.
     
  8. indya

    indya Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Colorism is a problem in this country. I'm trying to recall what thread a person said AA's have "muddied" the blood by mixing with whites. I don't know if we are more accepting of biracials many hate the whole idea of interracial dating, so the resulting children have that to deal with also.

    As far as what to do with a childs hair, that's why beauty shops were created.
     
  9. Ledda

    Ledda Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Very true. I have a lot of biracial cousins and on top of that I come from a Creole ancestory, so I have cousins who are so light it's hard to tell what color they are. But where I'm from, Kansas, the white people in general view mixed children as black. When I was a teenager it was real popular for the black boys to go to a small town about 15 miles outside of our city where there were only white families, white girls. A lot of these girls ended up pregnant and their parents marched them right to abortion clinics. I lnow a white woman that at 18 began dating my nephew. She got pregnant by him and her mother forced her to have an abortion. She refused to stay away from him so her mama disowned her. She had two kids by him and her mother refused to acknowledge them. They were married but divorced and she married a white man and had a child by him, now her mother talks to her. But the first two kids refuse to call her mother "grandma". More often than not I've known white girls/women who said that their parents would disown them if they dated black men. But that was off the subject. In response to your quote, I don't think it's a good idea for a biracial person to consider themselves "more white". Not to say that they should consider themselves "more black", either. True they are half and half but do white people where you're from view them as white or say it really doesn't matter? I know of another lady who's daughter is dating a biracial man but they refer to him as being black and were into a dispute with some people they knew. They go regularly to a western/country club and the people called their daughter a n****r lover. The biracial man even worked at the same club as a bouncer and they didn't acknowledge the fact that his mother was white.
     
  10. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Well, it doesn't matter what others say... if you have one white parent and one black parent you are half-white, half-black and you have every right to claim such heritage.

    What I'm talking about is when biracials culturally identify themselves more with whites to the point that they reject their black side. You can claim biracial heritage and identify culturally with your black side more. Halle Berry, for example, has indicated her mulatto heritage, but clearly identifies more with her black side. Those who chose to culturally align with their black side won't suffer as much as those who align with their white side, (or any other race that is deemed to be better than black).
     
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